need to write. | Myths of the Mirror

image from pinterest

This 2-yr-old post was one of my most popular, and for those who missed it, I once again share the symptoms of this incurable condition.

***

As some of you know, a pervasive syndrome has troubled a segment of society for centuries. After years of research, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders finally classified these symptoms under the diagnosis: Writeritis.

Writeritis is defined as a persistent, maladaptive pattern of writing that leads to clinically significant impairment or distress, as manifested by six (or more) of the following within a single month:

A marked craving for increased amounts of writing, and longer periods of time to write.
An unquenchable thirst for coffee.
Repeated efforts to cut down or control word count are unsuccessful.
Withdrawal occurs when writing is discontinued or suddenly reduced. Symptoms include shakiness, moodiness, and/or irritability.
A tendency to rapidly relapse into extreme patterns of excessive rewriting – even after periods of abstinence or control.
After writing, a compulsive urge to return and edit.
An inability to initiate household chores until a plot hole is resolved.
A clinically significant preoccupation with the motivations of imaginary people.
Obsessive attempts to manipulate and control the lives of main characters.
A tendency to forget the time, fail to make dinner, and/or eat in general.
Overt rumination about murder, fear, revenge, evil, and/or world-conquest leading to extensive research and placement on the TSA watch list.
Unusual or intense need for colorful verbs accompanied by an aversion to the word “was.”
Periods of anxiety regarding commas.
Unrepentant willingness to jeopardize a significant relationship, job, or educational/career opportunity due to a need to finish a chapter.
Thrives on creating conflict and will often escalate disputes to the point of violence.
Uses fictional fantasy words in Scrabble and argues that they should count as real words.
Writing is continued despite a persistent physical or psychological problem that is exacerbated by staring at a laptop.
Frequent disruptions during sleep to jot down a section of dialog.
Tends toward exhibitionism and “showing” it all.
A compulsive need to write about something, including not being able to write.