Talking Turkey

A little fowl fun. Turkey or goose?

While the old birds shopped for Christmas presents, Felix and Mort made their annual Black Friday visit to the local tavern to plan Christmas dinner. They’d taken charge of the cooking years ago, and ever since the first year – when they’d admittedly ruffled a few feathers – the girls happily had left them to it.

They pored over recipes and shared reviews while Phil, the barkeep, kept the bourbon flowing. Felix spread out his clippings and arranged them into piles. “Time to talk turkey.”

Phil leaned on the bar. “Having turkey this year?”

“Goodness no!” Mort shook his head so hard his chin wobbled. “Goose! We always recommend goose.”

Phil raised an eyebrow. “What about Christmas traditions?”

“I’ll have you know, goose has a very long history.” Felix searched for the magazine article. “All the way back to the ancient Egyptians. Did you know that Marco Polo reported seeing geese in China? And Queen Elizabeth ordered that goose be served every Michaelmas in honor of her victory over the Spanish Armada.”

“But what about Ben Franklin?” the barkeep pointed out. “He was a big fan of turkey.”

“A turkey if there ever was one.” The two cooks laughed. “He should have stopped at electricity.”

“Nothing beats goose,” Mort said. “Goose fat has a far better flavor than peanut oil. Some people even save it for cooking. Did you know you can buy pure goose fat on Amazon?”

Phil shook his head. “My wife hates all the grease.”

“Aah…” Felix said, taking Phil under his wing. “But everything about roasted goose tops turkey. The skin is crispy. A goose is juicier than a turkey, and its dark, succulent flesh has a distinctively rich flavor all its own, with just the right amount of gaminess. Most importantly, the meat isn’t dry; it flakes off the bone.”

Mort’s beady eyes turned dreamy. “Alongside the golden goose, I’m thinking airy potato dumplings, red cabbage, and a baked apple with lingonberries. And apple sausage stuffing.”

“And liver paté,” Felix added, waving a recipe like a flag.

Mort sifted through the piles. “Shredded confit! Or we can pack the meat into pastries for deep-fried goose spring rolls.”

Phil replenished their bourbon and slid a recipe from the pile nearest him. “Goose crown pink with celeriac and cranberries. I don’t even know what that means, but it sounds good.”

Felix sighed. “We need to make a decision and get our ducks in a row. How about classic orange and thyme-scented goose? With all Mort’s fixings.”

“Sounds perfect.” Mort beamed. “We should slow-roast for 4-5 hours at 120C. We’ll still get crispy skin, but the breast will stay tender. Then for the last half hour, we’ll turn the temperature up to 220C.”

“You’ve convinced me,” Phil said, topping off their glasses. “I’m trying goose this year.”

“Your wife will love it.” Felix grinned and swayed on his perch. “Oh, my. I’m feeling loose as a goose!” He rested a wing on the bar, holding himself up.

Phil helped them gather up their recipes. “Time for you two turkeys to head home or your gals are going to cook your gooses.”

With a laugh, the two strutted from the bar, wattles wagging and tail feathers fanned. “We did it,” Felix chortled. “Another successful convert.”

“It was easy.” Mort danced a little turkey trot. “He was a sitting duck.”

Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate.

And to those who don’t, I wish you a week full of gratefulness, love, and laughter.

201 thoughts on “Talking Turkey

  1. Happy Thanksgiving 🎉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dalo 2013 says:

    This story brought a smile and laughter – I sent it to my colleagues in Czech. They are all fans of goose and duck but don’t know much about turkey. We have St. Martin’s Day in Europe, and in Czech, it is the tradition to have roast goose and drink young red wine from Moravia. This post reminds me of arguments people had before 11/11 about whether or not to serve duck instead of goose. I am a duck person, love it, and it is our family tradition to have roast duck for Christmas but definitely turkey for Thanksgiving! I love the holiday season even though, once again not in the States to enjoy it, I can get it through stories like this! Cheers, and thank you, Diana, for this.

    Liked by 1 person

    • What a fun comment! I’m so glad you shared the story – internationally too! I was amazed at how many phrases in English are fowl related, and it was a blast to fit them into the story without giving these two turkey’s identifies away. I enjoy both goose and duck, so I’d have a feast on St. Martin’s Day either way. Enjoy the flavors of the holidays wherever you are!


  3. I hope you had a great Thanksgiving 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Happy Belated Thanksgiving Diana, I’ve been traveling and just now catching up on the blogs I follow. You’ve been dealing with so much. I hope you had a restive Thanksgiving Day. I’m nestled in my chair, computer in my lap, warmed by a new layer of winter fat! We had a delicious day. Hugs, C

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lol. We did have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Though we had it officially on Friday due to scheduling conflicts. I think I had 3 Thanksgivings, in fact. So I can relate to the layer of winter fat. 🙂 I hope you had a wonderful day as well. Hugs.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Cute story, Diana! Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Now you’ll start decorating for Christmas!
    We had salmon for Thanksgiving this year. Mercy and Will are vegetarian but eat salmon. Come to think of it, I ate turkey but never a goose. Does it taste like chicken? I’m with my sister from Hong Kong at her daughter and son-in-law’s house in Vancouver. We’ll have lunch with the new bride, my other sister, and her newly wedded husband. They’ll fly to Vancouver from Victoria (an 8-minute flight!!!). When they flew to Victoria from Los Angeles, they hadn’t come through customs because it’s not a major city. They have to fly to Vancouver to go through customs, then stay here for a few days before flying back to LA. I’m going back to CA on Wednesday.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I was just visiting your site this morning and didn’t see anything new, so I figured that you’ve been super busy. Goose probably tastes closer to duck, Miriam, but salmon works too! How fun that you spent Thanksgiving with Mercy and Will, and then jet-setting up to Canada for more family fun. I hope you’ve enjoyed every moment of it. Safe travels home. ❤


  6. Chel Owens says:

    Geoff put you up to it, didn’t he? 😀 Actually, that game was a little tame by his standards…

    Liked by 1 person

  7. olganm says:

    I don’t eat any meat and we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving here. Love the story, though! Thanks, Diana!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I am on the verge of becoming a vegetarian, but Christmas won’t be the same without turkey!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Marsha says:

    Very cute story, Diana. I’ve never tried goose. It’s too late for Thanksgiving but maybe the turkeys have a point. I actually like the dry white turkey meat, though. It’s a great excuse to pour more gravy on it. 🙂 Hope you had a great Thanksgiving.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. henhouselady says:

    Wonderful story. I loved the twisdt.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Resa says:

    Hope you had a terrific Thanksgiving, Diana.
    I’m now imagining this fun piece with turkeys and geese sitting at the bar discussing how to roast succulent tofu! 😉🤔

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Happy Thanksgiving Dina

    Liked by 1 person

  13. markbierman says:

    Happy Thanksgiving, Diana! Loved the short story. i prefer ham or chicken. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  14. DutchIl says:

    Thank you for sharing the story!!… a stress free, mess free Thanksgiving here, a microwave meal, nothing with feathers… 🙂

    Hope you have the mostest, bestest Happiest Thanksgiving ever and until we meet again..
    May love and laughter light your days,
    and warm your heart and home.
    May good and faithful friends be yours,
    wherever you may roam.
    May peace and plenty bless your world
    with joy that long endures.
    May all life’s passing seasons
    bring the best to you and yours!
    (Irish Saying)

    Liked by 2 people

  15. That story was so much fun! I am actually having roast duck, red cabbage, stuffing, and German potato salad.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. acflory says:

    Oh! You really had me going there. I thought this was your sneaky way of posting a recipe! Love it. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  17. […] to D. Wallace Peach’s hysterical post from Sunday about cooking turkey. Here is the link: Keep […]

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Don’t forget Waldorf Salad. Grandma made the best salad and served it in a carnival glass bowl. I missed that so much.
    Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, my friend.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Well go ahead an make one, my friend. You don’t need to wait for next year. Food is such a wonderful connection to family traditions and brings back lovely memories. Thanks for stopping by and enjoy a week of gratitude, my friend.

      Liked by 2 people

  19. So cute. Happy Thanksgiving, my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Loved this….so cute!! Have a Happy Thanksgiving!!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Ocean Bream says:

    Hahaha, this was funny – we don’t do thanksgiving here but we do know a LOT about it from all the media, this really made me chuckle. I liked the little twist at the end, it made me chuckle. Reading this light-hearted piece also made me very hungry. Airy potato dumplings?! I had never heard of those, and when I did a quick google it had me drooling. Going to try my hand at them at some point. I hope you have a happy thanksgiving!

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Almost Iowa says:

    Personally, I would never share a drink with a turkey. Just don’t trust them, but I would definitely have one over for dinner.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ha ha ha. I hope you’re having a turkey over for dinner this week, Greg. But if they turn you down, geese should be quite welcome at the table too. Thanks for the visit and for making me laugh. 😀 Happy Thanksgiving.


  23. Ann Coleman says:

    I love it! I didn’t see that end coming, but it was perfect!

    Liked by 2 people

  24. Such a compelling piece with an air of hilarity. Appetizing all the same. Geese and turkeys should find themselves cachettes this festive season 😄

    Liked by 2 people

  25. D.L. Finn, Author says:

    Happy Thanksgiving, Diana. I keep eyeing those goose next tonthe turkeys. Someday.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I really like goose, Denise, but they’re much smaller than turkeys, so not good for more than four people. If you’re ever doing a small celebration, I recommend giving it a try. Thanks for the visit and Happy Thanksgiving. ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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