Chelsea Owens – a wonderfully entertaining blogger – used to run a weekly Terrible Poetry Contest that was laugh-out-loud funny. The competition is sadly defunct, but she’s hosting a reunion!
The prompt for the reunion is a Christmas Song Parody. It must be Terrible and it must Rhyme. Stop by Chelsea’s to get the details if you want to partake or laugh at some terrible creations.
This is my last post of 2021, and I leave you with my terrible Christmas song:
Sale! The Yearly Christmas Call
(Sung to the tune of Hark! The Herald Angels Sing)
Sale! The yearly Christmas call
Shoppers flocking to the mall
Carts careen through crowded aisles
Cash and credit reconciled
Frantic all ye lists are waving
Budgets set already caving
Wrap those presents for the tree
Run out of tape, oh woe is me
Wrap those presents for the tree
I need tape, oh woe is me
Feed the crew from out of town
Baking cookies past sundown
Table’s set and goose is done
Spilled the gravy, so much fun
Dinner’s gone in seconds flat
Cooked all day and barely sat
Washing dishes like a maid
Boy, I wish my job was paid
Scrubbing dishes like a maid
How I wish this job was paid
Football’s on, the offense crouched
Husband’s slouched upon the couch
Cat’s in the tree, and globes are smashed
Kids are bored, the house is trashed
Hail the end of Christmas Day
When the kindred drive away
Flip the cap and swig a beer
Pooped out from another year
Take a nap and get in gear
New Year’s Eve is almost here.
Myths of the Mirror 
So much fun! You capture the feeling of Christmas so very well; the chaos, the rush, the cheery and the warm fizzy feeling inside despite all the stress. My favourite: ‘Dinner’s gone in seconds flat, cooked all day and barely sat’ – how we all relate 😀 This poem left a big smile on my face!
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I’m so glad it got a smile from you, Lenora. Christmas is so hectic. I hate the stress, but kind of love the family chaos and the merriment that suffuses it all. I hope your holidays were full of love with a big dose of chaotic fun. 🙂 ❤
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Was warm and chaotic and argumentative and loving and also very very ill 🙂 But it wouldn’t be the season if it wasn’t like that! ❤
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Sorry to hear about the illness. That’s tough. I hope everyone is better now. Hugs.
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Oh I think there are loads of non-Covid bugs going around 😀 Lots of people I know also got the same ‘flu’, all better now thank you 😀
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🙂
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I know Christmas has come and gone but this is so funny I had to write anyway and say “well done.” Happy New Year Diana!
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Thanks, Meg. It’s pretty silly but was a lot of fun to write. I don’t like the commercialism of Christmas and that whole frenzy, but I do love gathering with friends and family. That part is awesome even with the dish-washing. 😀
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Wow. I loved the way you have used the repetition effect of the lines to make it sound like a song!
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It’s a parody of the Christmas carol, “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing. The real song has those repeats but they’re word for word. I couldn’t help myself and changed them up a little. Thanks for the visit and I’m glad you enjoyed the silliness. 😀
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Get Billy Mack from Love Actually to record this, and you’ve got a Christmas hit on your hands, Diana!
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Ha ha ha. I think I liked my “We Three Drunks from the Neighborhood Bar” better than this one, Sean, but it was fun to write and got me in the Christmas mood. I’d love to make carol parodies an annual event. Lol. Thanks for the great comment. 🙂
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Funny and brilliant!
Happy New Years, all!
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I’m glad you enjoyed the bit of silliness. It was a fun way to sign off. Happy New Year to you too! May it be brimming with creativity and wonder. ❤
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❤ Likewise, Diana!
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Oh my! These are hilarious. Thank you for a good laugh. Happy New Year! May 2022 be your best to date.
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Thanks for indulging in the silliness, Alisen. It was a lot of fun to write this and the contest produced some terrible poetry. I hope you had an amazing holiday, and Happy New Year to you too!
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BEST CHRISTMAS POEM/SONG ever! This should be a traditional classic. Every year. Yay to you and Yay to the new year unfolding now.
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Ha! I’m so glad you enjoyed this one, Pam. I had a ton of fun writing it. I told my daughter that we can do Christmas at her house if she wants. She said, “No!” I wonder why? Lol. I hope you had a beautiful holiday. ❤ ❤
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So, you have a smart daughter. Apple doesn’t fall far…. 🙂
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🙂
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Reblogged this on Nelsapy.
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Thanks for the reblog! Happy New Year.
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Well done! And what a fun idea. What creativity!
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I’m glad you enjoyed the terrible Christmas song parody, Betsy. I hope the actual holiday was glorious for you and your family. Have a wonderful new year!
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That’s a delightful response to the challenge, Diana. I hope you’ve had a lovely Christmas. Hugs on the wing!
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We had a lovely day, Teagan, and now we have snow! A rarity. I hope you had a lovely holiday my friend and that I helped bring a smile. Happy New Year!
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Oh my goodness! We actually have a warm and cloudy day here. It’s been a rather warm December, but lots of high wind warnings throughout the month. Last year we had a heavy snow in mid December. Stay safe and well. 🙂
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We just got our power back on! Happy New Year, my friend. ❤
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Merry Christmas 🤩🎉🎄
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Thank you! We had a lovely day with family. I hope your holiday season is full of joy and peace and wish you a happy, healthy new year.
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🤩🤩🎉
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Wishing you peace, joy, and unconditional love at Christmas and always.
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Thanks for the lovely Christmas wish, Kally. Many returns, and a wonderful new year to you. 🙂
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And then it’s all over! Excellent poem, Diana. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
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Thanks, Mark. I’m glad the Christmas carol parody gave you a smile. I hope your Christmas was wonderful and wish you and yours a very Happy New Year. 🙂
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[…] The Terrible Christmas Poetry Contest Reunion! […]
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Thanks again for sharing the silly song. Happy New Year!
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This was such a fun read! I was singing those words in my head! Wonderful job you did with this…And it was a perfect reading for today. (I might skip making gravy this year…:) )
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Thanks for the visit, Linda. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas with no spilled gravy. I think that’s the only part of this silly song I actually haven’t experienced. Ha ha. Wishing you a wonderful 2022, full of happiness, good health, and peace. 🙂
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Wishing you blessings in the New Year!
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❤
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Love it Diana…you had me singing it in my head (fortunately for anyone around me as I’m always off key)!! You had me laughing out loud the further into the song words I got!! Have a very Merry Christmas!
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Thanks so much for the visit, Kirt, and for singing along. This is pretty much the way my Christmas goes. I hope yours is beautiful and peaceful, and I wish you and yours a happy, healthy, joyous new year. 🙂
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Wonderful and hilarious, Diana. And the story of my life.
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Lots of truth in this one, Chelsea. Thanks so much for hosting. I was just reading them all. What a total Hoot! Congrats to Greg and all the terrible poets. 🙂
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[…] by D. Wallace Peach […]
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Fun, Diana, and it said it all! Especially the part about the cat in the tree, which we experienced many times!
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We do too, Noelle. The cats have pulled the whole thing over so many times that we now tie it to the bannister. I’m glad you enjoyed the silliness. Have a beautiful Christmas an jolly New Year!
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Wonderful, certainly made me smile 🙂
Hope you have a wonderful festive season ❤
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Thanks for dropping by, Louise, and I’m glad I got a smile out of you. 🙂 Wishing you wonderful holidays and a fabulous, creative new year!
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LOL!!! Love it! Merry Christmas, Diana! Thanks for your friendship, and I hope you enjoy some down time during the last days of the year!! Hugs 😀
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Thanks for singing along with the silly song, Sheri. I can’t wait until Covid is over and we get to meet in person! A a book fair maybe. Wishing you a lovely holiday and glorious new year. Hugs.
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Enjoy the holiday, Diana! And yes, a joyous and wonderful new year to you, too!!
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Hahahaha, I love it! It’s so true.
Merry Christmas, Diana, enjoy the holiday!
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Thanks so much for dropping by, Jina. I’m glad my silly poem gave you a laugh. Your book comes out tomorrow, right?? I’ll pick up a copy and post my review asap! Happy Holidays, my friend.
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Wow and wow what a fun-loving and thrilling poem, Diana. Loved the naughty side of the poem too. Merry Christmas to you and to your family too dear.
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I’m so glad you enjoyed it, Kamal. I have so much fun writing terrible poetry. Ha ha. Thanks for the visit and have a glorious holiday and fantastic new year. ❤
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Welcome always dear Diana. Happy holidays and lots of love and hugs 🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗
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This is perfect, lol – thanks for the laughs, Diana. Happy Holidays!
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It was a fun way to close out the year, Teri. I enjoy the silliness. Have a wonderful Christmas and wishing you a happy, healthy, and bountiful new year. 🙂 Hugs.
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