The Terrible Christmas Poetry Contest Reunion!

Chelsea Owens – a wonderfully entertaining blogger – used to run a weekly Terrible Poetry Contest that was laugh-out-loud funny. The competition is sadly defunct, but she’s hosting a reunion!

The prompt for the reunion is a Christmas Song Parody. It must be Terrible and it must Rhyme. Stop by Chelsea’s to get the details if you want to partake or laugh at some terrible creations.

This is my last post of 2021, and I leave you with my terrible Christmas song:

Sale! The Yearly Christmas Call

(Sung to the tune of Hark! The Herald Angels Sing)

Sale! The yearly Christmas call
Shoppers flocking to the mall
Carts careen through crowded aisles
Cash and credit reconciled

Frantic all ye lists are waving
Budgets set already caving
Wrap those presents for the tree
Run out of tape, oh woe is me
Wrap those presents for the tree
I need tape, oh woe is me

Feed the crew from out of town
Baking cookies past sundown
Table’s set and goose is done
Spilled the gravy, so much fun

Dinner’s gone in seconds flat
Cooked all day and barely sat
Washing dishes like a maid
Boy, I wish my job was paid
Scrubbing dishes like a maid
How I wish this job was paid

Football’s on, the offense crouched
Husband’s slouched upon the couch
Cat’s in the tree, and globes are smashed
Kids are bored, the house is trashed

Hail the end of Christmas Day
When the kindred drive away
Flip the cap and swig a beer
Pooped out from another year
Take a nap and get in gear
New Year’s Eve is almost here.

194 thoughts on “The Terrible Christmas Poetry Contest Reunion!

  1. Ocean Bream says:

    So much fun! You capture the feeling of Christmas so very well; the chaos, the rush, the cheery and the warm fizzy feeling inside despite all the stress. My favourite: ‘Dinner’s gone in seconds flat, cooked all day and barely sat’ – how we all relate 😀 This poem left a big smile on my face!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Meg says:

    I know Christmas has come and gone but this is so funny I had to write anyway and say “well done.” Happy New Year Diana!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Meg. It’s pretty silly but was a lot of fun to write. I don’t like the commercialism of Christmas and that whole frenzy, but I do love gathering with friends and family. That part is awesome even with the dish-washing. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Zil says:

    Wow. I loved the way you have used the repetition effect of the lines to make it sound like a song!

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s a parody of the Christmas carol, “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing. The real song has those repeats but they’re word for word. I couldn’t help myself and changed them up a little. Thanks for the visit and I’m glad you enjoyed the silliness. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Get Billy Mack from Love Actually to record this, and you’ve got a Christmas hit on your hands, Diana!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Ha ha ha. I think I liked my “We Three Drunks from the Neighborhood Bar” better than this one, Sean, but it was fun to write and got me in the Christmas mood. I’d love to make carol parodies an annual event. Lol. Thanks for the great comment. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Resa says:

    Funny and brilliant!
    Happy New Years, all!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. alisendopf says:

    Oh my! These are hilarious. Thank you for a good laugh. Happy New Year! May 2022 be your best to date.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. BEST CHRISTMAS POEM/SONG ever! This should be a traditional classic. Every year. Yay to you and Yay to the new year unfolding now.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Nelsapy says:

    Reblogged this on Nelsapy.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Well done! And what a fun idea. What creativity!

    Liked by 2 people

  10. That’s a delightful response to the challenge, Diana. I hope you’ve had a lovely Christmas. Hugs on the wing!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Jawahar says:

    Merry Christmas 🤩🎉🎄

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Kally says:

    Wishing you peace, joy, and unconditional love at Christmas and always.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. markbierman says:

    And then it’s all over! Excellent poem, Diana. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

    Liked by 2 people

  14. […] The Terrible Christmas Poetry Contest Reunion! […]

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Linda Raha says:

    This was such a fun read! I was singing those words in my head! Wonderful job you did with this…And it was a perfect reading for today. (I might skip making gravy this year…:) )

    Liked by 3 people

  16. Love it Diana…you had me singing it in my head (fortunately for anyone around me as I’m always off key)!! You had me laughing out loud the further into the song words I got!! Have a very Merry Christmas!

    Liked by 3 people

  17. Chel Owens says:

    Wonderful and hilarious, Diana. And the story of my life.

    Liked by 3 people

  18. noelleg44 says:

    Fun, Diana, and it said it all! Especially the part about the cat in the tree, which we experienced many times!

    Liked by 3 people

  19. Wonderful, certainly made me smile 🙂
    Hope you have a wonderful festive season ❤

    Liked by 3 people

  20. LOL!!! Love it! Merry Christmas, Diana! Thanks for your friendship, and I hope you enjoy some down time during the last days of the year!! Hugs 😀

    Liked by 3 people

  21. Jina Bazzar says:

    Hahahaha, I love it! It’s so true.
    Merry Christmas, Diana, enjoy the holiday!

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Wow and wow what a fun-loving and thrilling poem, Diana. Loved the naughty side of the poem too. Merry Christmas to you and to your family too dear.

    Liked by 2 people

  23. Teri Polen says:

    This is perfect, lol – thanks for the laughs, Diana. Happy Holidays!

    Liked by 3 people

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