I’m a couple of weeks away from finishing my first draft. I should focus on those last 20k words, but I keep returning to the opening. Tweaking, mulling, editing, changing, and then changing back. Then changing again.
Openings are important. If a reader has been intrigued by your cover and blurb… and cracked open the book, you don’t have much time to give your hook a good yank (or subtly slide a barb through the reader’s lip).
There are a lot of suggestions for crafting openings that grab your reader:
- Showcase your protagonist in his or her POV. This way your reader knows who to root for.
- Reveal something about your protagonist’s emotional landscape. Help the reader care.
- Start in the middle of a tense situation with your character in the thick of it.
- Arouse curiosity or create intrigue. Pull the reader in so he asks, “What will happen next?”
- Share a glimpse of the setting (world or place or time period).
- Establish a unique voice for the character.
- Hint at the theme and what your story is about.
- Structure the opening like a plot. Tell a story.
- Convey your writing style.
Yikes!
This opening isn’t finished, but I think it’s getting closer.
The hemp net hung from the boom over the waves. Within its lattice of pinched knots, the slender merrow drowned in the heated air. She had ceased her struggle as the sun tilted up, when shadows pooled beneath hard-heeled boots. Her graceful tail with its angelfish fins dangled from the end of her confinement. Beyond the reach of her fingers, swells rose and fell. Taunting, seductive. Rhythmic as they sloshed against the hull.
Like a storm-torn sail, the tip of her tangled hair dipped into the sea with each crest, shed droplets with each trough. The creature wept for her kind, for the sea breathing beneath her. The mournful plea filled young Callum’s head, overwhelming the clamor of merriment arising from the Brid Clarion officers who’d captured her in their mesh.
“We should free her,” Callum murmured. He drew his fish-knife. “She’s dying. They’re killing her.”
“I spoke my mind, boy.” The captain placed a firm hold on Callum’s scrawny shoulder. “Put away the blade. It’s not our place to chart the course of another man’s conscience.”
Myths of the Mirror 
[…] Opening: The Ferryman and the Sea Witch […]
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Thanks so much for sharing the post. I’m glad you enjoyed it. I’m busily finishing up the book this month for a release in May. Have a wonderful weekend. 😀
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I’m facing a similar dilemma. I’m only around 20k away from finishing the first draft, but the pull of that beginning and a red pen keep yanking me away from finishing. Hopefully, somewhere between NaPoWriMo poems I can crack out the ending of my draft and then I can edit away with abandon.
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I forced myself to knuckle under, Carol. I’m now on my last 28 drafts. 😀 And knuckling under again. Good luck completing your draft! I find first drafts grueling in terms of the amount of focus they require. Rewrites and edits grueling in a different way. Why am I doing this grueling thing??? Ha ha. Happy Writing.
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I think all writers are gluttons for suffering lol. Happy writing to you as well
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You’ve got my attention and interest. Nicely done. I can see the advice you gave in the tips, at work here.
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Thanks, Mark. I go over my opening again and again to try to include the elements of a good hook. I’ve already changed this a tiny bit. I look back at some of my older books and groan. It was definitely a learning curve. 🙂
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You’ve succeded with the hook. 🙂
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Yay!
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Consider my lip hooked, Diana! 😉
I never knew all this stuff about what an opening should be like – fascinating! Happy writing! 💕
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So happy you are almost done with your book Diana! this is so awesome and it looks amazing! ❤️🤗🌷
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Thanks for the visit, Cindy. I’m working on it full time, my nose in the laptop. The first draft is done and I’m on the second. I really hope to have it done in May! I hope you’re doing well. Happy Spring!
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wow, this is so exciting! I can’t wait to hear all about it and hopefully read as it sounds awesome! so impressive!❤️👏👏👏👏
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Brilliant Diana…you pulled me right in with the visual and the writing. Your words painted the picture of pain, sorrow and frustration. I felt the pain of the mermaid and the pain and sorrow of Callum right away! You got me…can’t wait to read the story!! Really well done!!
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Thanks for the wonderful comment, Kirt. I’m so glad I hooked you. Lol. I finished the first draft yesterday which is always the hardest part for me. This will be a stand alone book, so perhaps it will be done in May. 🙂 Have a beautiful day.
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WOW. That opening certainly grabbed my attention, Diana, and I want more!!! Like, today. Whenever I read your stories, it’s as though I am there, right in the thick of it. You are a masterful writer and storyteller, and I can’t wait to read your book – it’s going to be an unforgettable adventure. I can’t wait to read your book if I haven’t made that clear!! Thanks for the inspiration, as well. You always drive me to strive for more. Well done, my friend. Keep going!!
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Thanks, Tanya. Ha. Your comment made me laugh. I finished the first draft yesterday. So much work ahead but the hardest part is now done. This will be a stand-alone, so a quick easy read when it happens. 🙂 Have a lovely Sunday and week ahead, my friend. Hugs!
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nice teaser
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Thanks! It will no doubt that tweaked again, but this is basically the start of the book. Thanks for taking a peek! Happy Sunday.
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🙂
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Great teaser Diana..looking forward to…hugsx
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Thanks so much, Sally. I finished the first draft yesterday, So, I’m taking a breather for a couple of days before rewrites start. 😀 I’m glad you enjoyed my little opening. Happy Sunday, my friend!
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So well written! I am a visual person and your words definitely drew a picture for me, I felt like I was right there. Also I could feel the emotions from each character through your words!
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Aww. Thank you, Tiffany. I’ve been trying to get my first draft done, but it’s fun to dip into other parts of the book when my brain needs a rest. I so appreciate the visit and the kind comment. Have a lovely weekend. ❤
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You’re welcome! Congrats on your book, that’s so awesome. Always a great idea to give our brains some breaks and have them focus on other things, good writing tip. Have a great rest of your weekend!
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Definitely intrigued by Callum, his sympathy, but being told not to free the mermaid 🙂
Some useful tips for crafting openings too!
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Thanks for the comment, Louise. I’m glad you enjoyed the opening and found the tips useful. I hope you’re writing again. Don’t let Merlin distract you. 😀 Have a lovely weekend.
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You’re welcome 🙂
I’m buried under a ton of planning, but I finally figured out something that’s been bothering me for ages, so I can start writing again soon!
Hope you’re having a good weekend.
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That’s awesome, Louise. Happy Writing!
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Hi Diana, I was advised some of my comments ended up in Spam folders or disappeared yesterday, so I will try again and see if it sticks. Or you may get duplicates.🙂 It is interesting learning about the inner workings of a wonderful writer, Diana. I bookmarked this post, since many gems. I looked up the definition of a “merrow.” I am in the middle of a tense situation and I am immediately hooked. “Yikes!” Good stuff! ❤️
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Oh thanks for letting me know about spam, Erica. I haven’t checked in a week! I better head over. I’m so glad you were hooked. I loved finding the “merrow” as a gender neutral mermaid/merman. So much easier and I love the feeling/magic of the word. The cover will probably clarify what the creature is for most people. And I’m glad the post was interesting too. Hugs!
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No problem about the potential spam, Diana. It was a weird day where comments did not appear to stick? I checked back after a day and a half. Weird WP or weird me.🙂 The term “merrow” fits well. A great post!xx
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I did find you in spam jail. So sorry! That happens to be a lot too. Thanks for alerting me. Your comments are always well-loved. ❤
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