The Bossy Muse insists that I need help

My Muse (pixabay compilation)

I have my feet up in my writing room, and I’m getting a little cross-eyed from editing commas.

I look up and listen. Someone’s clomping up the stairs. I’m hoping it’s the hubby with an iced coffee. But no such luck. I hear the roar of a howler monkey, and my laptop nearly flips to the floor. I know who it is.

My muse.

She walks in without knocking. The monkey on her shoulder bares its yellow teeth and squeezes a banana until the peel splits. The muse sits beside me and puts her boots up on the coffee table. The howler smears banana on my arm and grins.

I frown at the mess. “Why did you have to bring him?”

She ignores my question and gives me a flat look. “I just had an iced coffee with your husband. He said you’re planning to do the usual.”

My chin draws back. First, where’s my iced coffee? Second, I have no idea what “the usual” means.

I’m about to ask when the howler swings to the floor and starts pulling books out of my bookcase. He bites the corner of Jacqui Murray’s new book Against All Odds. I jump up and snatch it from the beast’s teeth. It barks at me, and I growl in reply.

I keep one eye on the monkey while questioning my visitor, “Okay, I give up. What’s ‘the usual?’ You know, I have work to do for my launch.”

“Exactly,” my muse says. “A launch is more than one blog post announcing a new book.”

“Oh.” I wince. “But… but that’s…”

The muse arches an eyebrow. “… what you usually do?”

My face contorts. My stomach hurts. She’s going to make me do a real launch. My little introverted self squirms at the thought. “Do I have to?”

“I’m not forcing you to eat a goblin’s heart.” She rolls her eyes and takes Jacqui’s tooth-marked book. “Jacqui does great launches. Run it by her. If you do half of what she does, it will be ten times more than your usual.”

“But she’s good at everything.” I slump, my head sliding down between my shoulders. “She’s so organized.”

My muse looks as sympathetic as a stump. “The next time you see me, we’ll discuss a new book. It’s up to you to finish this series up and give it your best. Ask for help.”

With that, she takes the monkey’s hand and clomps down the stairs. I get up and peek out the window. The monkey vanishes in the sunlight. My muse turns to wave and shifts into her next shape, the one that will invade my space in a few months with fresh inspiration…

***

Thank you to everyone who signed up. I’m so grateful for your kindness and generosity.

 

 

 

142 thoughts on “The Bossy Muse insists that I need help

  1. Le sigh – I’m so behind – but did you do it?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lol. You can stop if you want!!! Don’t feel you need to read everything. I had 30 sign ups and finally had to close the list. The tour lasted over 3 weeks! Everyone was totally sick of me by the end. Ha ha.

      Like

  2. The muses can be a pain in the butt. But more often than not, their advise is good. And so is the inspiration the often come with. I guess it’s a trade-off.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sarah says:

    Is it too late to still help with the book launch, Diana??? If not let me know what I can do!!! 😀❤

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Jules says:

    There are some amendment that muses don’t exist…
    I let them go their merry way. I think having a muse (or two) can be very helpful.

    Thanks for stopping by. I had a great time away and am slowly catching up. ~Jules

    Like

  5. nightlake says:

    Good that your muse is disciplined and makes you do the right things. My muse is as unorganised as I am:)) Thank you so much for visiting my blog and leaving a comment.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Annika Perry says:

    Diana, you are so right … Jacqui has set an amazingly high bar on book promotion! I’m in awe of the organisation involved and keeping up to date with it all – fabulous but slightly daunting!

    Good luck with your promotion and I will look out for you! As I’ve been a bit awol on WP I haven’t seen your post about help but see you’ve got lots of terrific support here – and I’m not surprised! Next time give me a shout if I miss the post and I’ll only be too happy to feature! Hugs xx 😀❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    • I got a lovely bunch of replies, Annika, and finally took down the form. It was getting crazy and launch day is right around the corner. 🙂 This community is so generous and supportive. I couldn’t be happier. And thank you for your kind comment and offer to help in the future. If you ever get around to reading the story, a review is pure gold. <3. Have a lovely day and enjoy the last of summer. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Diana, I’m so sorry that I missed this. Internet problems really have isolated me… I would be glad to pitch in, if you are still taking volunteers. Just let me know. Hugs on the wing.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Hi Diana. Happy to help have filled in your form but haven’t heard back yet. I expect you and your muse are inundated with responses! Lol.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Léa says:

    Years ago, a dear friend and I sat over too much coffee and challenged ourselves to write a Muse poem. Who or what was our muse? While I wouldn’t describe the results as great poetry, they were hysterical and these days, a good laugh0 is as rare as gold.
    His muse was a Roseanne Barr like character in a bathrobe, hair curlers and fuzzy pink slippers who stomped into his room saying, “You call yourself a writer, get up and write.” While admittedly mine had long boots and a whip and I plead the fifth on the rest.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Lol. In October, I’m planning to ask bloggers if they’d like to share a conversation (prose or poem) they had with their muse. I’ll reblog them all. Keep an eye out. It should be pretty fun and I’d love to read yours. Thanks for the visit and have a great weekend. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I’d be happy to help! At least my Muse doesn’t have a pet monkey with bad manners 🙂

    And at least it wasn’t the stinky barbarian. Although an ill-mannered howler monkey might be a close second 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  11. “I’m not forcing you to eat a goblin’s heart.” – chuckle!!
    Course I’m going to volunteer to help you launch. I’ll check my dates and get back to you ASAP.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Excellent write Diana.
    I signed up for September 16. I hope you got the form.
    Sending you love
    Gabriela

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Jina Bazzar says:

    Ah, I love your muse – but I’m glad she’s nothing like mine.
    I did fill in the form, but left some fields blank. There’s a comment there I left. Let me know if the form went through – sometimes leaving something blank doesn’t work. It looks like it did though, but just in case.
    thanks for the chuckle again.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. I’m only two days late reading your post and look how far behind I am. Wahhh. But damn, I read your post here about your muse with mouth open. She scares the you-know-what out of me. And the MONKEY. Jeeze Louise. Please, be kind to yourself, because your muse certainly won’t be. However, and on the other hand, (repetitive, I know), she did get you to “do a Jacqui.” I’ve seen so much of Jacqui the past week I think I wouldn’t be surprised if she suddenly – poof – showed up at my front door. (And wouldn’t that be a thrill??). Anyway, can’t wait to see you and your new fantastic(al) series all around the blogging neighborhood.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Adele Marie says:

    Hi Diana, I’m so pleased for you on your new release. I’m sad that I’m going to be away on the dates of August until September, but wishing you all the luck in the world. xxx

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Adele Marie says:

    Reblogged this on firefly465 and commented:
    Diana Peach and the muse plus news of her new release Liars and Theives

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Jennie says:

    You are such a good writer, Diana. I love your muse post. I know you will get lots of book launch help.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. dgkaye says:

    My, my, by the looks of all these hosters there will be no shortage! Congrats on you woman! I didn’t fill out the chart because I’m going to email you with something a little different. Since I had your name on my Q and A interview list, for later in the year, I’m going to rearrange my September because I’d be delighted to help out. ❤ Check your mail 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  19. acflory says:

    Done! This will be an excellent launch, one that even your Muse might approve. 😀 Scary, isn’t she?

    Liked by 2 people

  20. Steven Baird says:

    Happy to help, Diana. I filled out the above form, and if you need any further info, just let me know (it’s early here, and I’m still on my first cup.) This is a great idea, and I have a feeling it’s going to be great. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thank you, my friend. I saw your name pop up and that’s so kind of you to offer to help. Everyone is going to be sick of seeing me. Lol. Enjoy your morning cup (I’m now on my first). Have a beautiful day and be well. Happy Writing!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Steven Baird says:

        It will be my pleasure, Diana. You’ve always been so kind and encouraging to other writers, I doubt anyone will be sick of seeing your promos. You’ve earned this, and I’m happy to do my part, no quid pro quo necessary. And yes, good luck with your commas. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  21. Staci Troilo says:

    Signed up. Happy to help.

    Your muse is almost as bossy as mine. lol

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much, Staci! Your muse is even bossier?? Lol. I’m thinking of kicking off a challenge in October for anyone who wants to write a post about their muse, which I’ll reblog. It happened spontaneously last year and was so fun. Thanks for offering to help with the launch. I’m grinning. 😀 Have a great day and take care.

      Like

  22. petespringerauthor says:

    Happy to help out on Sept. 4th. Edit away to your heart’s content.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks so much, Pete! The 4th it is. I’m editing the 3rd book in the series now. I have some revision suggestions from my editor/readers that I want to finish over the next month or so. Then I’m going to nap until Christmas! I’ll be sending book-stuff out soon. Thanks again!

      Liked by 1 person

  23. I think that book tours help, Diana, especially now that everything is virtual and on-line. I have filled in the form for you and you are welcome to guest post on either of my blogs any time.

    Liked by 3 people

  24. Sean says:

    Great post. Good luck with your launch! I thibk your muse is going to be proud!

    Liked by 1 person

  25. CarolCooks2 says:

    A brilliant way to promote your book tour, Daina I wish you all the luck in the world 🙂 x

    Liked by 2 people

  26. Your Muse has exceptionally good timing. I’ve been needing to select a book to feature on my blog for 9/2/20. Liars and Thieves it is! I’ve submitted the form.

    Liked by 3 people

  27. In typical Peach fashion, a request that we help you, helps us too. Thanks for the invite. This will be fun! -Sheri

    Liked by 3 people

  28. coupleofbees says:

    First of all, I love the way this is written. It was so entertaining! I filled out a form, and we’ll be glad to help in any way we can. Look forward to hearing from you!❤️

    Liked by 3 people

  29. D.L. Finn, Author says:

    Best ask for help I’ve ever seen 🙂 I’m signed up!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Ha ha. I pushed it off on the muse, DL. She’s always nagging me to do things that my introverted self feels shy about doing. Thanks so much for signing up to help. I couldn’t be more delighted. I’m finally feeling ready. I appreciate the kind support. Have a great week and Happy Writing. Take care. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  30. Mae Clair says:

    I’m glad your muse and her howler monkey showed up to prod you with the release launch. I know they’re exhausting, but they do help.
    And I’m glad to help, too. I signed up. Love the idea of adding the sign-up to your blog. I need to remember that for the next time I’m looking at a launch.

    August 29 is right around the corner. Go, you!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I basically copied Jacqui’s post (with her okay). Lol. The form was easy to set up and it is a great help organizing all the data. I’m hoping for a good time. Thanks for joining in, Mae. That’s kind of you. I’m grinning. Have a great week and Take Care.

      Liked by 1 person

  31. Yay! Party time to celebrate your new book launch, Diana. Let me know if you’ve received my sign-up.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. I remember what your Muse did last time, Diana. I think she is humorous and creative. She is the best thing with or without iced coffee to pump your mind running. The monkey is her best assistant. Smeared the peels on your arm got to get on your nerve to do something. She did a good job to give you that nudge.

    I filled out the form and hope you got it. I’ll be back from visiting my granddaughters (yay!) on August 26. That gives me a few days to schedule the lunch date I signed up.

    It looks like your sign-up will be two miles long. Congratulations, Diana. Let’s have a party!

    Liked by 2 people

  33. This is a great idea, Diana. I just signed up for Sept. 9th. I’ll be launching a book myself in the next few days, so would be delighted if you could link to my post announcing its existence. The post will remain in draft until I have the all-important purchase links, but I intend to post it on August 23rd.
    This is exciting and a bit scary!

    Liked by 2 people

  34. Count me in, Diana. Completed the form.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much, Len. That’s kind of you. I’m smiling this morning, for certain. I’m glad my muse pushed me into this. As usual this community of ours is awesome. 🙂 I’ll be sending you “stuff” soon. Thanks again! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  35. Pink Roses says:

    So, I filled out the form, Diana. I hope I do it all correctly. All the best.

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Love it! ❤ Yes, I'll be delighted to help.

    Liked by 1 person

  37. balroop2013 says:

    What a fantastic way to say the obvious! Thanks for the smiles Diana, I love your muse. I’m not filling any form but would love to help and need I say that? You could just send the promo matter to me and say… “this is the day for you” 🙂 waiting for that order! any day, anytime.

    Liked by 2 people

  38. Silent Hour says:

    I’d like to help too. How much time after August 29 can you give me? I want to make sure I’ll be back home. I think I’ll be back somewhere mid-September though

    Liked by 2 people

  39. Oh my gosh! This was hilarious, Diana. I’ve always wanted a pet monkey! Great post, my friend. I’m going to email you. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Jill. An email works just fine. You’re so kind and just the best. And I’m glad you got a laugh from my muse. She’s so bossy, but her heart is in the right/write place. And that monkey! Good riddance (though secretly, I’m going to miss him – Lol). Have an awesome week, my friend. Take care.

      Liked by 1 person

  40. What a fun pre-launch post Diana. I love the whole muse mania we did a couple of years back. Kudos on stretching and doing something new for your launch. I hope the launch and book blast off so the howler monkey and friend will leave you alone.

    Liked by 3 people

  41. trentpmcd says:

    I have a book launch coming up (Not sure when – October? November?) and have been thinking about doing something like this. Good Luck! I hope it works out 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thanks, Trent. I’m usually so “introverted” when it comes to launches. After helping Jacqui with hers a couple of times, I got up the courage to reach out. And she was gracious about letting me basically copy what she does. 😀 Have a great week, take care, and Happy Writing!

      Liked by 1 person

  42. From the muse thumping upstairs, monkey on her shoulder, drinking your iced coffee, I couldn’t stop laughing. You might want to consider comedy, Diana! And thanks for the shout out. I blushed a few times. I signed up. We’ve already arranged a review in about ten days but if there’s any other way I can help, I’d be honored.

    Liked by 3 people

    • You’re all set, Jacqui. And I’m glad I got you laughing. You deserve the shout out, not only for your wonderful book, but for being so gracious about letting me steal all your launch ideas! Lol. You’re the master. Thank you Thank you. Have a lovely day, my friend. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  43. Tessa says:

    This is such a great idea! I submitted a form ❤️ Let me know if you don’t get it.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Aww. Thanks, Tessa. I did get it. I played around with the form yesterday, since I’ve never done this before, and it actually works! Lol. I’m so grateful for your offer to help. That’s awesome. Big smile. Have a great week and take care. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  44. I’d like to help, but I’ll be moving house at the end of August, so I’m not really committing to anything at the moment.

    Liked by 2 people

  45. Pink Roses says:

    Hello Diana, I enjoyed that post – here’s your introverted sister! I’d love to help with your launch. i’ll have to read the above carefully as I’m not great on computers.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Thank you so much for your interest in helping! That’s so kind of you. I’m super flexible and low on pressure so whatever works for you. 🙂 The most important part of the form is contact info. I’ll send you “book stuff” and you can use whatever you wish, whenever you wish. My muse is giving me a satisfied “I told you so” smile. Lol. Thank you ❤

      Liked by 2 people

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