A few weeks ago, I had a blog-conversation with Jacqui Murray of Worddreams about editing out “ing” words. I’ve heard many times that these words should be avoided when writing fiction but never understood why. While some writing no-nos stab me in the eye every time I read them (such as filter words), “ing” words never really bothered me.
So, a little research later, here’s the scoop:
“Ing” words do three things:
They express ongoing action when combined with auxiliary (helping) verbs:
She was washing her hands.
The snow will be piling up all night.
They act as nouns:
Vacuuming kept the dog hair to a minimum.
Walking helps me stay healthy.
They act as adjectives:
The falling apple bonked her on the head.
A failing grade won’t get me into college.
Opportunity #1
Present, future, and past progressive verb combinations
When combined with little “helping” verbs such as am, are, is, was, were, been, have, has, had, “ing” words express ongoing action.
He is working every day.
He was painting on weekends.
He will be gardening after work.
He has been looking out the window since he came home.
Now, all of these sentences are grammatically correct, but they all have extra weak little unnecessary words.
Avoid weak helping verbs and write tighter.
For example:
He is working every day.
He works every day
He was painting on weekends.
He painted on weekends.
He will be gardening after work.
He will garden after work
He has been looking out the window since he came home.
He has looked out the window since he came home.
Caution: Sometimes the progressive action is necessary. Note the difference in meaning below:
He was shooting his gun when the sheriff killed him.
He shot his gun when the sheriff killed him.
Of course instead of “was shooting” you could try something like this:
He peppered the bar with bullets until the sheriff’s aim zeroed in and blasted a hole in his chest.
Which brings me to the next opportunity…
Opportunity #2
Replace weak “ing word” and helping-verb combinations with more powerful verbs.
While searching your manuscript for your “ing” words, look for opportunities to replace common “ing” words with more descriptive verbs in the simple past tense.
For example:
He was looking at the lawn for an hour.
He inspected the lawn for an hour.
She was turning over the burger with one hand and making a salad with the other.
She flipped the burger with one hand and tossed a salad with the other.
The ogre was giving the princess a long-winded explanation.
The ogre bored the princess with a long-winded explanation
Common “Ing” Mistake #1
Simultaneous versus sequential action
Did you know that participial phrases indicate simultaneous action? Not sequential action. This is a very common mistake, and another reason to look closely at those “ing” phrases!
Participial phrases aren’t actually verbs. They’re something called verbals, and they can act like adjectives. Verbals aren’t the action verbs of the sentence, instead they tell us something about the action. What the heck does that mean? Well, read on, and I’ll try to explain.
Here are some examples of incorrectly used participial phrases. Note that the structure implies that the actions are happening simultaneously, even though that would be impossible:
Peeling off his pajamas, he turned on the water and stepped into the shower.
Sprinting down to the lake, he dove in and swam to the other side.
The gymnast landed the dismount, dancing with her fists in the air.
The cat jumped to the window sill and curled into a ball, sleeping in the sunshine.
Yeah, those are wrong. I’m not kidding. Clearly, the actions need to be sequential, but that’s not what the sentences indicate.
He peeled off his pajamas, turned on the water, and stepped into the shower.
He sprinted down to the lake, dove in, and swam to the other side.
The gymnast landed the dismount and danced with her fists in the air.
The cat jumped to the window sill, curled into a ball, and slept in the sunshine.
Can participial phrases be used to indicate simultaneous action? Sure. Here are some cases where it’s done correctly:
Peeling off his pajamas, he tangled his feet and fell on the bed.
Sprinting down to the lake, he waved to his sister and her friend.
The gymnast landed the dismount, her feet snapping to the mat.
The cat jumped to the windowsill, knocking over the vase.
Common “Ing” Mistake #2
Dangling participle phrases
We’ve all enjoyed reading these literary bloopers, and many of them can be tied back to those “ing”-phrases.
A dangling participle phrase functions as an adjective and unintentionally modifies the wrong noun (or a missing noun) in a sentence. They’re often found at the beginning of a sentence.
When the modifier or participle is not attached to the correct subject, it “dangles.”
Incorrect: After finishing my homework, the teacher gave me an excellent grade.
Correct: After I finished my homework, the teacher gave me an excellent grade.
Correct: The teacher gave me an excellent grade after I finished my homework.
Here’s another one:
Incorrect: While snacking on trail mix, a rainbow brightened the horizon.
Correct: While we snacked on trail mix, a rainbow brightened the horizon.
Correct: A rainbow brightened the horizon while we snacked on trail mix.
I hope this was helpful. In summary, “ing words” are useful and they help us vary our sentences and paragraphs. But, they require vigilance!
Myths of the Mirror 
ugh, this why I would LOVE to join a writing club or something along those lines because it’s hard for me to see when I do things like this in my own writing. I miss things sometimes because I’m dyslexic and sometimes because in my head when I’m reading things I write to myself… I think it sounds better than it actually does. I read another blog post who talked about getting rid of the words “that, the, and words ending in ly”. I realized I’m the QUEEN of “That”. She recommended looking at song lyrics to help me and it finally clicked. My last few posts I have used those words less frequent and it has improved how I write. I don’t write fiction but I think ing words are going to be a challenge. I wish I had someone to proof read and advise me. I’ve been on the hunt for writing classes or clubs… I’m not sure where to begin to be honest.
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I could use the word “that” 3 times in a single sentence without a problem. Lol. Each time we learn one of these “rules” and try to apply them, we tend to write them less in the first place. There are lots of great blogs with writing tips on WordPress. Critique groups are wonderful, and there are online groups for people who don’t have anyone locally. A class is a great way to make connections… and then start your own group! You write beautifully, so keep going!
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Thanks so much for the advice! I’ll screenshot it and see if I can’t find some extra assistance 🥰
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Wonderful.Thankyou for sharing.
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I’m glad this was helpful. There’s always something to learn with this vocation. Have a lovely day and safe, happy week ahead. 🙂
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I’m caught on a point. You have enlightened me to a bad habit that has become so natural i feels natural. Could you break this down a little more to help me out of this? I’m doing this one all the time:
(I think I just did it again.)
Incorrect: After finishing my homework, the teacher gave me an excellent grade.
While snacking on trail mix, a rainbow brightened the horizon.
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Hi Anne, thanks for asking for clarification.
In the first example: the teacher is the one who did the homework – she’s the subject of the sentence. A couple of correct ways of doing it would be:
After I finished my homework, the teacher gave me an excellent grade. Or… After finishing my homework, I received an excellent grade. Or… The teacher gave my homework an excellent grade. (Plus other options, but you get the point.)
In the second one, it’s the rainbow that ate the trail mix! So a couple of correct rewrites would be:
While snacking on trail mix, I watched a rainbow brighten the horizon. Or… While I snacked on trail mix, a rainbow brightened the horizon.
Hope that helps! 🙂
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Thank you! I was actually running into this issue while working on backstory for my novel today.
I just kept saying “he was ….ing”
So not only do you lose the chance to find ideal wording by doing this, you end up sounding repetitive. It almost felt like my work started to drag on.
So weird I saw this today.
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I’m glad you found it too! Just switching out the majority of those “he was …ing” will cut way down on your “was” words, which are terribly dull words. Your writing will look much more professional! Happy writing and be well. 😀
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This article will be really helpful for my fiction writing. Thanks a ton!
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You’re welcome! It’s just another thing to think about and keep in check as you write. Balance is the key. These words are useful but shouldn’t be over done. 🙂 Happy Writing!
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Thanks for writing this post. I’m just beginning to explore fiction writing and probably use way too many ing words. But of course you can’t shave them out completely. Do you have a guideline for the ‘right balance’? Loaded question I’m sure and probably a skill that develops over time.
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Ah, that right balance, Beck. Nope, I don’t have a guideline. There are so many elements that go into this craft – your style and voice as an author, the flow of the sentences, plain old grammar, and then all the other rules that you learn only to break. Some of it you just need to figure out through practice and feedback. And through reading books that you love. Happy Writing!
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Your examples are most helpful, Diana. I always enjoy these posts.
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Thanks, Inese. I like sharing these as I learn them. 🙂 And I learn best through examples, so it makes sense to me to use them as I try to explain. It seems that with writing, there is no end to the learning and most of the rules are very mushy. Lol. Have a wonderful day, my friend. ❤
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Thank you, Diana ❤ I felt so bad emotionally, then read this post and suddenly I have something to focus on. Isn't it magic? 🙂
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So many people are feeling off, Inese, even if their own circumstances aren’t dire. It’s hard to stay balanced with all the uncertainty, and hard not absorb all the grief and suffering of others. Empathy makes us human, and that’s a good thing. We have to honor our feelings the good and bad in order to endure this. You are loved. ❤
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Thank you for these great tips.
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You’re welcome, Tangie. There’s always so much to learn, isn’t there? Like with most writing rules, there is a need for balance, so little is set in stone. Have a wonderful week and Happy Writing!
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[…] realized that without them my style of narrative voice is strengthened. My friend D. Wallace Peach wrote a good article on why gerunds are problematic in fiction if you want to lean […]
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Very informative. I am glad I found this post. Thank you.
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I’m glad you enjoyed it. I still like “ing” words for the way they vary sentence structure and alter the flow of a read, but I use less of them now, and hopefully use them correctly. There’s always more to learn as we write. Thanks for the visit!
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Thanks for the education, Diana – I got a lot from this. Take care my friend.
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Thanks for the visit, Eric. It’s a good time to be hunkering down and writing and editing. I’m glad this was helpful. Take care of yourself and your loved ones. Happy Writing.
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I’m starting to write my first novel!! So I’ll have to come back to all of these when I edit… the translation 😉 But thank you XO
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Well, that’s wonderful news, Dawn. How exciting. Yeah, don’t worry about these until editing time. And even then you don’t need to get rid of all of them. A nice balance is just fine. 🙂 I hope you’re doing well and taking care of yourself. Happy Writing!
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I am trying as hard as I can under the current circumstances. Being confined is not easy, and my depression is not stable, so makes it even less so. But starting to write and knowing I can help my children with HW is a big plus for me. At least one thing that feels good. Hope you’re enjoying the Spring coming to your area. And though I know you live in an area where the virus has made landfall in the States, I also know you’re pretty isolated, so I hope it doesn’t reach you and you take care of yourself. ❤
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We are very isolated. But I still have to go grocery shopping (bummer). So just being rational and thoughtful about it. Enjoy the writing time and the kids, Dawn. Finding opportunities for joy is important. ❤
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Thank you! Such a helpful post.
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You’re welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed the post, and of course, writing is all about balance. “Ing” words are fine when used sparing and correctly. Then help vary sentence structure and rhythm. Happy Writing!
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your explanation makes complete sense. As writers we make such mistakes unintentionally and frequently. looking forward to learn more 🙂
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[…] Continue reading at Myths of the Mirror […]
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Learned so much today! Thank you!
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You’re welcome. It’s amazing how much there is to learn about this craft. I’m still learning! And so much is about using the rules to find the right balance. 🙂 I’m glad this was helpful. Happy Writing!
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You never stop learning! Happy Reading and Writing to you too! 💙
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What an interesting post! Of course with English being my second language I’m glad if I can express my thoughts somewhat consistent and straight forward – no matter how many “ing” words I’m usING. 😉😂
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Ha ha ha. You are a wonderful English-writer. I forget that you’re in Berlin. You could be right down the street. And these “rules” don’t apply to blogging or conversational writing, so you’re just fine! 😀
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Hehe! Thanks a lot – you made my day! 😀
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Those ‘ing’ words popped up a lot in my writing, no matter how much i tried fishing them out. These are great advice, Diana, and the examples help showcase the point.
Thanks for sharing, and stay safe, my friend.
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I don’t mind them, Jina, as long as the grammar is correct – though I do edit out as many of those little helping verbs as possible. I still think that “ing” words can help vary our sentences and contribute to the rhythm of our writing. So keep an eye on them, but….
Take care of yourself and your family during this strange time, my friend. Happy Writing.
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I don’t edit them all out – mostly the ones with “was -ing” and similar. But I cheated with this last book and used prowriting aid to find them. I did leave some when the context changed though.
You take care too, Diana.
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Grammar nerd here. It’s a common misconception that all “-ing” words are gerunds, but a gerund is defined as a verbal that acts as a noun (eg: Walking is good exercise).
Source: https://owl.purdue.edu/search.html?q=gerund
Most of the time, the “no gerunds rule” is used for the examples you cite, but it’s a misnomer.
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Sorry I posted twice — I got an error message the first time & thought it didn’t go through.
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No problem. I deleted the copy. And I just edited my post so it should be correct-ish (though less technically erudite). 🙂
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Ah, thanks for clarifying, Gifford. I’m definitely not a grammar nerd, which is why I’m much more comfortable with examples. The terminology is tough! Some of the sites I used for research had it wrong too, apparently. Thanks for the visit and Happy Sunday.
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I’ve seen many sites with the same information. Purdue OWL is my bible for all things grammar. Their explanations are simple and to the point.
Wishing you a good one, too!
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[…] via Why to avoid “ing” words in fiction […]
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Thanks for sharing, Sally!
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The examples of WHY a gerund is incorrect help a lot. Thanks for all of this good grammar work. xo
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The terminology is gibberish to me, Pam, so examples are the way that I learn this stuff… and remember it. I’m going through my WIP now and cutting a few of them out. Varying sentence length and rhythm is an interesting puzzle without them. So much to learn! Thanks for reading, my friend. ❤
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Me too – I usually ignore those grammar long-winded rules and write how I learn from great writers. So, the examples are excellent. I just found an exercise for my creative writing students to “begin each sentence with a verb.” Now, I’m worried that they’d be encouraged to use too many gerunds for all time. 🙂
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Oh no. Ha ha. Well, a balanced variety isn’t a bad idea, as long as they don’t write the “common mistakes.” 🙂
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Thanks Diana.. so easy to slip into conversational habits when writing. xx
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Yes, and blogging is and should be conversational (according to my itty-bitty research). But I love it that we’re all wordsmiths, Sally, when it comes to finding the right balance in our prose. There’s so much to learn! Thanks for the visit, and Happy Writing!
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Thank you for the refresher, Diana!
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So much to think about, huh? I don’t think most readers realize all the elements of craft that we need to pay attention to. Thanks for the visit, Jan, and Happy Writing!
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Diana, you reminded me of the grammar lessons I had from the schooling under the British system. I enjoyed your post particularly liked the examples of “incorrect” and “correct.” Have a nice week and weekend coming up soon.
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Thanks, Miriam. I don’t think I was paying attention to this when they taught it in school. Lol. There’s so much to think about when writing, and finding the right balance seems key. Have a lovely weekend yourself, my friend. ❤
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Your comparison of symotaneous and sequential moves is excellent. I laughed about the symotaneous sentences and visualized the acts. They are funny and seem impossible. 💖
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They are impossible and yet writers get them wrong a lot. That’s a tricky on, Miriam. And those danglers are often pretty funny. Thanks so much to taking a peek at the post – it’s a long one. And Happy Writing!
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With your imagination you turn the dull learning into an acrobat. 😀😀 You’re a good teacher 😉
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Thank you! I’m glad it made sense.
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Now your examples keep popping up in my head. 😀
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