The Word Police are at it again. This time they plan to rap some filter words on the head.
Filter words are generally bad dudes and worth arresting when you catch up to them. They’re guilty of two things:
- They add lots of unnecessary/empty words to your story and therefore can bog down your pace… a lot.
- They distance your readers from your characters. The “narrator” tells us that the character is thinking/sensing something (filters the information) instead of just letting us experience the thoughts/sensations directly.
In this 217-word passage, there are 20 filter words.
Greta stood on her front porch. She felt the long-awaited spring call her with a rustling of leaves and patter of hummingbird wings. A smile brightened her face as she watched them battle around the feeder that she’d remembered to fill yesterday. She supposed she wasn’t the only one enjoying the languid morning. On the porch rail, she saw her lazy tabby stretch and heard his rumbling purr as she rubbed his ears. She knew he liked the sunshine; she imagined he always had.
Lilacs bloomed at the edge of the house, and she could smell their heady fragrance. There were other newcomers that morning. She noticed that the butterflies had returned with the warmer weather and saw crocuses pushing up through the grass. Years ago, her mother had planted them in the lawn, and she realized she’d seen them return every year since.
Greta suddenly felt hungry, and she listened to her stomach growl. She wondered about the muffins baking in her kitchen and recognized the sound of the buzzer on the oven announcing they were done. She rushed through the screen door and heard it slam closed behind her as she hurried down the hall. She thought they would taste wonderful, and if she wanted to, she guessed she could eat them all by herself.
Now here’s the same passage written without them (173 words instead of 217):
Greta stood on her front porch. The long-awaited spring called her with a rustling of leaves and patter of hummingbird wings. A smile brightened her face as they battled around the feeder that she’d filled yesterday. She wasn’t the only one enjoying the languid morning. On the porch rail, her lazy tabby stretched, and he rumbled a purr as she rubbed his ears. He liked the sunshine; he always had.
Lilacs bloomed at the edge of the house with a heady fragrance. There were other newcomers that morning. The butterflies had returned with the warmer weather and crocuses pushed up through the grass. Years ago, her mother had planted them in the lawn, and they’d returned every year since.
Greta’s stomach growled with hunger. Muffins baked in her kitchen, and the buzzer on the oven announced they were done. She rushed through the screen door, and it slammed closed behind her as she hurried down the hall. They would taste wonderful, and if she wanted to, she could eat them all by herself.
That’s about 22% less words!
Same meaning, improved pace, and closer to the character’s experience.
Less distracting to your reader, too.
You won’t be able to eliminate all filter words, nor should you, but an editing pass to rid yourself of a bunch of those annoying delinquents is worth the effort. And it isn’t that difficult when you know what to search for.
Here’s my starter list: watched, saw, observed, felt, smelled, tasted, heard, knew, thought, suspected, remembered, believed, understood, imagined, doubted, supposed, realized, wondered, guessed, hoped, wished…
Do you kill off the filter words in your writing?
[…] never understood why. While some writing no-nos stab me in the eye every time I read them (such as filter words), “ing” words never really bothered […]
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Thanks again for the reblog, Sue. I hope you and yours are doing well. Take care and Happy Writing.
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[…] never understood why. While some writing no-nos stab me in the eye every time I read them (such as filter words), gerunds never really bothered […]
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Brilliant. A whole new story 🙂
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I’m particularly sensitive to those filter words and love to scratch them out. 🙂 I’m glad the post was interesting. Thanks for the visit, my friend. ❤
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Thank you for the great post, Diana! Yes, the filter words are distracting. Your before and after is an excellent demonstration. We don’t miss the filter words in your “after” version.
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Thanks, Miriam. I thought the examples would be helpful in seeing the difference. All those extra unnecessary words can really bog down a story. I’m glad you enjoyed the post, my friend. Happy Writing!
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Great message… Loved the pic too! 🙂
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Thanks for taking the time to read, Kevin. I notice these words when I’m reading and they make me groan. (And naturally, they show up in my writing too. Ugh). I figured its a good tip to share. 🙂
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I’ll adopt you as my word sergeant. 😄
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Ha. Trust me, if I beta read for you, I’ll point them out. Lol.
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Excellent! 😄😄😄
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I’m always surprised how many filter words have crept in when I read through what I have written. Like a sculptor, i continually pare down my work!
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Me too. I have to edit them out constantly. They are sooo sneaky, even when I know better. Thanks for checking out the tip. 😀 Have a great weekend and Happy Writing.
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This is awesome!! I wasn’t aware of filter words but it makes a lot of sense to eliminate them to have a tighter story. 😄
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This little snippet contained 22% filter words, Sarah. Imagine if it was only 10% – in a 200 page book, that would mean the reader had 20 pages of “knew, felt, thought, saw, heard…). Ugh. Who wants to read all those useless words? And the best part is they are easy to cut. I’m glad you enjoyed the post. Happy Writing and Reading!
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Ugh! 20 pages of filter words?! That would be truly horrible. 😂
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Yes, it would!
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WONDERFUL. You just gave me a great idea of what my lesson will be when I teach my next Creative Writing class this week, Diana. Thank you for writing about filter words so clearly.
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You’re welcome, Pam. I think examples are the best way to show how sneaky these things are. They sound fine, but you take them out and the prose is so much better, tighter, immediate. I’m sensitive to these pests, and too many of them will destroy a book for me. And the best part about getting rid of them… it’s easy! I’m so glad you’re going to share it!
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I’d never heard of “filter words” in relation to narrative stance until I read your post. I’m doing final edits on a new short story. I’m going to give it a read-through for filter words right now!
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Good timing then! I search each one in Word and try to wipe them out, Liz. They’re so easy to cut that it doesn’t make sense to omit this important step. A few hours of editing makes a startling difference in my prose. Happy Editing!
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Thanks! After more edits this morning, I think the story is ready to send out. I’m letting it rest one more week, though.
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That’s a good feeling. Congrats!
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Thanks!
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Great reminder to watch for those pesky filter words, Diana! I find my first draft is littered with them. Every revision whittles their numbers down. Even so, sometimes those little buggers sneak through. Great post!
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My experience exactly, Julie. I cut them with each draft and then find more. They’re so devious! And when I’m reading, they distract me from diving into a story, like someone flicking their fingernails on my forehead. Happy Writing!
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Terrific post, especially for a neophyte writer, me. I will print it and have it nearby for reference. Thank you!
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You’ll be amazed how these sneak in, even for experienced writers. The good news is that they’re usually very easy to cut, so no reason not to make the effort. It’s makes a big difference. Happy Writing!
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I need to read a few of my stories against these excess words. I ‘FEEL’ it’s necessary!
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Ha ha. I search for each word in Word during one of my editing passes. It’s kind of shocking how many come up. 🙂 Have fun.
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Such good advice here, Diana. This is why revising, several times, is so important.
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Thank you, J.D. I agree with you! There are few people who can justify publishing after 2-3 drafts. I do a lot of revising, tons of drafts, several passes looking for a specific writing habit to break – like this one. No matter how hard I try to avoid these words, they sneak in there. Thanks for the visit and have a lovely day. ❤
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It took me a little while to get the hang of not using filter words. I kept forgetting I was inside my characters head. Saying that she was seeing or thinking something was unnecessary and redundant. Your paragraph without those is so much smoother. Thanks for the writing lesson, D!
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I still have to edit them out of my work, Betsy. They just get in there somehow. I really dislike them in my reading, so try hard not to subject my own readers to the misery. I’m glad this was nothing new for you. Happy Writing!
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Hello, Diana! You gave a great example of good writing. Thanks for the reminder. Have a delightful new week! ❤
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Thanks for stopping by to check out the post. I’m working on this myself and those filter words are so sneaky. I’m glad this made sense. Happy Writing!
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They are sneaky, but that’s why we revise. 😉 To catch those little suckers. Thank you.
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