My bossy muse returns

The muse’s latest look (all images from pixabay)

My muse and I have a love/hate relationship. She’s a shapeshifter, and she isn’t known for her sweetness or patience, so I’m not sure what to expect when I open my writing room door.

I know she’s there because of the howler monkey roaring at me from the banister of the outside staircase (and I don’t live near a jungle). “Shoo, shoo,” I order, flapping a hand. I slip past and shut the door before the beast tries to bite or groom me.

A glaive

The muse is sitting on my futon, flipping a knife, a pistol-thing in a holster at her hip. Against the wall rests a double-bladed glaive that looks like it could take my head off, maybe twice. My instincts tell me to take my chances with the monkey.

“How’s the book coming?” She arches an eyebrow. Sarcasm leaches from her pores.

I lean on the door, arms crossed. “I had a hectic summer.”

She puts her boots up on my coffee table. The knife spins above her head, and she grabs it out of the air before it stabs her. “I’ll give you a pass… this time. But I want some progress. You’ll be participating in NaNoWriMo this year – 50,000 words by the end of November.”

I wrinkle my nose into my “stinky-smell” face while panic flutters in my chest like a caged sparrow. “You realize that November is tomorrow. I haven’t prepped. I haven’t even signed up. I barely have an outline. And need I remind you, NaNo is a ton of work!”

“So, get over it.” She practically rolls her eyes. “You’re a writer. Writing is a ton of work.”

“I know, but I’m having trouble even envisioning this story. Your suggestion of goblins and shapeshifters isn’t clicking. It’s not my thing.”

“Trust me.” She gives me a sly grin full of evil, musey intent.

“Can I fire you?” I ask, only half-joking.

She ignores me and sheaths her knife. “I want you to add elves to the mix.”

“Elves?” Now she’s struck a nerve. I pretend to gag. “That’s your solution? Ugh. I don’t even like elves. Their too Tolkien, too… elfish. I love Tolkien, but… ugh. I’d feel like I’m writing a spin-off. Ugh, yuck.”

My muse sighs at my immaturity. “You don’t write spin-offs.”

I still can’t get the elf-taste off my tongue, but since that sounded like a compliment of sorts, I cease gagging and plop down beside her. “Thank you, but elves?”

“What do you have against elves?” She tucks a lock of hair behind her pointed ear, and I groan. “It’s not like I’m insisting on dwarves.”

“Dwarves? As in Thorin and Balin, or gnomes with red hats? Even worse! Thank you for not ruining my life. Elves are bad enough. Yeesh.” I’m starting to feel incredibly cranky under all this pressure. “And what’s with the gun thing? I don’t write guns either.”

“It’s a pulser.” She pulls it from her holster and rests it on the table. “I’ll leave it to you to figure out how it works as well as its limitations. I want you to stretch, Peach. Write something different, something challenging.”

I slouch and put on my grumpy face. “Shapeshifters, goblins, and elves, oh my.”

She smirks and gives my shoulder a hearty shake before rising to her feet and grabbing her glaive. “Once you get started, I’ll help. It’s my job.” She opens the door, and the howler jumps into her arms.

While she clomps down the stairs, I stand at the banister outside my door. Through the dense trees, dawn’s thin light is green and liquid. The monkey barks at me from my muse’s arms, and another annoying thought pops into my head. I have to ask. “And I suppose one of the settings is a jungle? You know I’ve never lived in a jungle.”

“That’s called research,” she yells and glances at me over her shoulder, wicked half-smile curling her lips. “Have fun.”

She fades into the forest. I shut the door, open my laptop, and google NaNoWriMo. Ready or not, time to sign up.

***

My blogging time will be a bit sparse this month. But I’ve got some ideas up my sleeve too. Elves? Really? Happy Writing!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

153 thoughts on “My bossy muse returns

  1. Cj says:

    Hey Diana. Its cj stuart. I started 2 lv a comment an musta hit something..took me 20mins 2 get bk here. This blog is kinda burried I’m surprised I found it. All of ur bks an info are fantastic..vy professional. I hope 1 dy my stuff looks half as good.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much for visiting, CJ. It’s great to see you here, and sorry that it was so hard to find. It’s taken time to get everything looking good; you just have to keep working on it. Have a great weekend and Happy Writing!

      Like

  2. Oh, good luck with those tasks she has set you, Diana. Typical of her to appear on Halloween. I hope the next time she appears isn’t the day before Christmas! Heavens help the turkey and gift wrapping.
    Good luck with NaNoWriMo. I’ve always run away and headed for the hills when I have come face to face with it. But then, I’m a wimp when it comes to facing pressure.

    Liked by 1 person

    • So far so good, Hugh. I’m still not totally on board with my muse’s choice in characters, but I’m writing. 🙂 I also dislike pressure, but somehow deadlines and word counts help me to clear my calendar and go for it. Thanks for the visit, and Happy Writing!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Sometimes we need our muse to be a mother, and other times a drill sergeant! Can’t wait to hear about what you produce during NaNoWriMo, Diana! Best of luck!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. inesephoto says:

    Best of luck, Diana! I know you can handle the elves 😀 No need to reply, focus on writing xxxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. My muse doesn’t even give me the courtesy of a conversation. Just sort of grunts and points. We’re working on it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ha ha ha. I starting having conversations with the muse on the blog and it’s actually been fascinating to see how she guides my work. She’s always been tough, but it seems push me along. Grunting a pointing is a start. Ha ha. Happy Writing, Mary.

      Like

  6. Muses are there to challenge, aren’t they! And yours sure challenge you, both otherwise it all becomes boring old, old. And if so, the muse is not part of it for sure. Sometimes we just gotta go with what the muse comes up with. I wish you all the best with your writing. And yes, it’s a lot of work.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I can’t believe I missed this post – now I’m the 136th comment, but better late than never, Diana! Such a funny dialogue with your muse – she is brutal. I wrote 99 words over the weekend for Carrot Ranch Flash Fiction, and felt like I climbed a mountain. To do NaNo is quite an ambitious undertaking. But I would not expect anything less from the likes of you, my friend! I retired on Friday, and have been so busy I haven’t taken it in yet. I’m hoping once things ‘settle down’ (do they ever?) I’ll have more time for ideas to flow.

    Liked by 1 person

    • My muse is tough on me, Molly. She always has been, and I really do try to follow her instructions. 🙂 I’ve been writing up a storm and it’s been a blast. I love winter – nothing to do but write! Thanks for the visit, my friend, and Happy Writing!

      Liked by 1 person

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