As my current WIP sloooowly progresses, I thought I would offer a peek into some of the characters.
You might have met the main character Raze here.
Danzell is a soul-collector, one who swallows multiple souls. In her case, wise ones.
Johzar is a slaver of questionable morals and allegiances.
I hope you enjoy this snippet.
***
The glowing soul rolled in Danzell’s palm, and she tilted her head. If only she could pry into the sphere, truly know the person bound within, their succulent secrets, forbidden dreams, and ripe desires. The wise of the world weren’t without their idiosyncrasies, the blades of madness that cleaved the mundane to unleash visionary brilliance.
Johzar watched her, a pendant on the Temple’s table between them, the one she’d given him as a gift. The soulstone still shone with the light of the soul within, her gift thus far rejected. Was he a fool or a wise man? She remained undecided, wary.
The Temple was her haven for the moment. She and the slaver sat by the window on the eighth level, too high for the common wanderer, and she kept her cowl up, face in shadow to all but him. “Why are you here, Johzar? Why the interest in imperial affairs? Why now? Why accompany me like my guard dog? What do you know? What do you want?”
He mulled over her questions, the gears grinding in his head as if visible to her eyes. Did he invent excuses or parse through her questions for the ones he’d answer?
“Curiosity.”
“And?”
Another pause. “Boredom.”
“Aah.” She chuckled and dropped a hand to her lap, fingers tickling the hilt of her knife. “And profit? Are you for sale?”
“Now and then.”
“Now?”
He shook his head. “I’ll stick with curious.”
“Did you or someone from your crew kill my sister?” She wrapped her hand around the hilt of her dagger.
“Nae.”
“Do you know who did?”
His gaze pointed to her hip as if the table were transparent. “I may not tell you if I did, but my answer is nae.”
“Did you betray my friends to the soldiers?”
“I saved their lives and mine by turning over the girl. She’s Benjmur’s weakness, and he’ll protect her. I’m sure of it.”
Danzell sighed. “I should have killed them all in the catacombs and added their bones to the vaults. They’ve complicated my plans.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“The voices in my head.” She smiled and rolled the soul.
He slid the pendant toward her. “I gift this back to you. I don’t need to listen to a voice inside my head tell me what I already know.”
“Such arrogance from a slaver, Johzar. Do you claim to possess the wisdom of the ancients?”
“Far from it.” He leaned back and crossed his arms. “But I know myself, and I know what I need to do.”
“Hm.” She draped the pendant around her neck, eyes returning again to the pearl of light in her palm. Her hesitation surprised her, the sensation new. Had she reached her limit? Was she edging toward the brink of madness from which she couldn’t return?
She hadn’t suffered conflicting opinions in her head until recent events required choices for which the outcomes were unclear. When it was all passive speculation, the answers were easy, reflecting a hypothetical black and white world without a broad palette of grays. Taking action was much more nuanced.
She popped the sphere into her mouth and swallowed. Johzar leaned forward, studying her. Her eyes closed, she surrendered to the sensation radiating from her stomach. The heat streamed through her veins, tingling her fingers and toes, and rushed into her head in a dizzying wave. She envisioned a room full of chattering, the newcomer mingling, ideas bouncing off others, temperaments clashing and merging. Similarities and differences flailed about with practiced words. She’d thrown another stone in the pond, created a chaos of ripples. She breathed through it, seeking the inevitable peace as the waters stilled.
Myths of the Mirror 
[…] I’ve introduced the main character, Raze. Also Danzell and Johzar. […]
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[…] with another chunk of editing checked off. I’ve introduced the main character, Raze. Also Danzell and Johzar. I hope you enjoy getting a peek into Sajem (from Johzar’s […]
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On one hand, I’m glad your progress on the new story is coming “slowly,” if it is a slowness reflective of extra care in the writing and maintaining life balance.
But most of me just wants you to hurry up so I can read it!
What I found particularly fascinating in this snippet, which hadn’t been revealed in your previous glimpses, is the idea that the swallowed souls not only interact with and influence the swallower, but one another.
What drew me to your writing “back when” was your ability to create intricate and yet cohesive worlds and systems of magic. It’s clear that continues in this next tale.
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Hi Erik! You’ve been on my mind as this thing gets a little closer to “readable!” Thanks so much for the comment. Yes, the souls do interact with each other, which can lead to some complications, of course. I really do love creating these complex systems and making sure they integrate. Hope you’re well. I’ll be back officially tomorrow and I’ll come by for a visit! ❤
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This character of Danzell is calm and sweet tempered if she can swallow a soul with conflicted emotions and “still the waters” (so to speak) within her so quickly. She shows bravery and balance, in my viewpoint.
Of course, you warn us about Johzar that he has more of a “user” attitude, yet he declined this soul. . .
Your writing has realistic characteristics given to fantasy characters. This sets you far above most fantasy book authors.
I’m like Anneli, not really a fan of this genre but know if possible (money always being a bone of contention for me!) I would own All of your books. Hugs and warm regards for your WIP, Diana! 💻 📃 📒
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Thanks for the sweet comment, Robin. You’re so good to me. 🙂 Can you imagine if we could internalize the deep wisdom of previous generations instead of having to relearn it all over again. Of course, people would be swallowing the souls of athletes and movie stars. Ha ha. Have a wonderful day, my friend. ❤
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I like how the slaver, Johzar, may be of questionable repute, may even be sneaky. But I don’t think he is “all bad” due to the fact he could have swallowed the soul himself.
I think Danzell may need to find a way to live without so many voices in her head. Will there be a way to unswallow the souls, perhaps?
Although, Danzell’s souls collide inside her, I do think it is intriguing how they calm down and soon, no ripples within her “waters” or inner self. Very interesting and this has such potential to go in so many directions!
ps. I would go mad if I had more than one soul within my own self! It’s hard enough just being “me!” hugs xo
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Ha ha. Some of my characters do go mad! Too much of a good thing? Lol. You are so perceptive picking up on the conflicting aspects of Johzar. That makes me happy that you caught that. For a slaver, he has a few redeeming qualities. 🙂 Thanks for the comment and have a great week.
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This is awesome, I can’t wait to see how it progresses. You work so hard Diana and I love how much creativity and skill you exude in your writing.
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Thank you for the sweet comment, my friend. It’s fun sneaking little peeks out for everyone to read. I still have a long way to go, though! Have a great day! 😀
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It takes courage to publish an excerpt from a WIP, Diana. Do you share these snippets as a way of incrementally “letting go” of the book — that is, building up to that fateful moment when you have to release it into the world?
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The snippets aren’t “final” draft, but they’re close-ish. I do like sharing them, but it’s not really about letting go. It’s more about marketing (and having something to post!)
I believe they build some anticipation for the book among friends and visitors – sort of like movie trailers – and they create some “name recognition” so when the book is finally released, those who enjoyed the glimpses remember and may pick it up. For the Rose Shield series, I shared about 7 snippets spaced about a month a part each, and I think it helped with the initial launch. 😀
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Love this snippet from your WIP, Diana! “Curiosity” and “Boredom” made me laugh so much – these are the great two reasons why so many things happen, I guess. 😄
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I’m so glad you got a kick out that character. He remains curious for a while but the boredom ends rather quickly! Ha ha. Thanks so much for stopping by to read. Have a wonderful, creative day!
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These are interesting characters, Diana. All the best in completing your present WIP. 🙂 — Suzanne
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I’m working away at it, Suzanne. Still early in the project, but things should start picking up speed a bit now that the big stuff is worked out. Thanks for reading and have a wonderful tail end of the week!
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So vividly told, Diana! Your writing truly is amazing. It takes me away. Hugs.
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Thanks, Teagan. 😀 I’m so glad you enjoyed it. I’m on the less fun part of writing now. This morning I was deleting adverbs for 3 hours. Ha ha
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Aww… poor adverbs. I think they are under appreciated these days. 😀
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I just seem to LOVE them. Don’t worry. There are plenty left!
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Wow, what a peek! It makes you want to dive right in and meet these characters and their story 🙂 Wonderful job, Diana, as always ❤
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Thanks so much, Sophie, for stopping by to read. I finished the first draft yesterday so plot holes are all corked! I’m glad you enjoyed the snippet. Happy Reading, my friend. 🙂
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[…] Diana from: https://mythsofthemirror.com/2018/01/20/soul-swallowers-danzell-and-johzar/comment-page-1/#comment-3… […]
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What a great excerpt, Diana! Now I want to know the rest of the story. Hurry up and finish it 😀
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I just finished the 2nd draft this morning, which plugged plot holes and dealt with a bunch of other nonsense. Ha ha. Sooo, on to the crafty stuff! I’m thinking April??? May??? Thanks for stopping by to read, Julie, and for making me smile.
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What a terrific tease!
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Then I’ve done my job! 😀 It’s fun throwing these out there and getting a little feedback. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Have a great week. 🙂
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This is actually REALLY GOOD 😍 Your writing is too beautiful and I just read these aren’t the main characters but I just felt instantly connected to them 😮 What a Great Job you do at writing!😁
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Thank you so much for visiting and for the kind comment. I like all my characters to be “connectable.” Ha ha. I’m glad you enjoyed it. This is only the second draft so still some months away, but getting there. 🙂 Have a wonderful week. 🙂
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Sure! Hope I can read more of you😁😁😁 Hope you have a great week too!
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Shaping up beautifully Diana. So intriguing. Great work!
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Thanks for stopping by, Paul. It’s coming along…slowly. Have a lovely week, my friend. 😀
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And you too Diana- I think that is is coming on slowly is probably a good sign.. a sign of of the thought and twists going into the first draft! PX
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A fantastic concept and a riveting snippet. Your writing is always flawless, and you manage to draw me deeply into each scene. Well done, Diana. I expect this will be fabulous.
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Thank you, Mae. You’re awfully kind to me. I’m glad you enjoyed this. It’s a strange concept and hard to find snippets that convey the idea out of context. Have a wonderful week and Happy Writing!
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Well Diana, you have me hooked ! I want to read more! This is so intriguing 🙂 . Have a great week my friend !
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Thank you, Lynne. I’m plugging away at it. Maybe mid-spring. I’m so glad you enjoyed the little peek. 🙂 Have a wonderful week yourself!
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A very intriguing story Diana. I wonder what follows….
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Thanks for reading, Brigid. It’s a little “out there,” I know. I like coming up with these strange ideas and seeing where they go. Have a wonderful week. 🙂
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You too Diana. 🌼
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Very intriguing excerpt, Diana! It sounds as though you’re having fun with this one. I’m glad you popped over to my blog today because this post didn’t make it into my WP Feed. Have a great week!
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I’m glad you enjoyed it, Jill. And thanks for the visit. Have a wonderful week. 🙂
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Wow Diana, wonderfully written characters. And the concept of swallowing souls and how they react within once swallowed is such an inventive storyline. I am not surprised, but intrigued. 🙂 xx
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Thanks Debby. It’s been a challenge writing characters with other characters inside them! But I like a challenge! I’m so glad you visited, but hope you are taking good care of yourself and hubby too. ❤ That's the priority!
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Thanks for your lovely wishes again Diana. Blogging is a kind of therapy for me, so I stole some time and visiting some of my favs. ❤
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Great excerpt, Diana. Beautiful and complex writing. 🙂
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Thank you for the kind comment, Stephen. I’m glad you enjoyed it, my friend. Have a wonderful week. ❤
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You make me want to swallow a few souls. If they aren’t taken from living folks, maybe it would work. I guess I will have to read more of your book to find out.
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It can have wonderful results, Jacqui, if you choose wisely. You can choose someone’s soul who has skills you desire or wisdom or a more joyful temperament, a more robust constitution. Someone you loved and lost…. but… don’t make a mistake, because you’re stuck!
Ha ha. Of course, I would love you to read it whenever that day comes. Lots of work to do first. 🙂 Happy Writing!
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Wow!! 😀😃 Diana, I’m absolutely hooked by this extract; you paint the characters with such skill, their personalities ooze from the page (or screen!)! Multifaceted, complicated…wonderful! Your use of language is superlative and a real treat to read and savour. Wishing you lots of enjoyment with this book. xxxx
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Thanks, Annika. I’m such a sloggingly slow writer, but as the scenes start to take shape, it’s fun to share. These two are quite a pair and a joy to write since they write themselves! Ha ha. Have a wonderful week, my friend. 🙂
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Most intriguing
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Thank you, Derrick. I’m glad you enjoyed the peek. Have a wonderful evening and week ahead. 🙂
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You, too, Diana
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Loved the excerpt Diana. As always, you make the story interesting, give it character – life.
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Thank you, Jina. I like these two characters. They have an interesting relationship that’s fun to write. Thanks so much for stopping by to read. Have a wonderful Sunday. 🙂
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hello, Diana.
just nominated your awesome blog for the awesome blogger award. i hope you have time to do it.
have a nice day.
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Thanks so much, Jina. I just saw the pingback. I’m so honored that you thought of me. I’ll be over to read the rules!
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Hmmm, i forgot to write that down.
lol.
you aren’t obligated though to do it, i just thought of you when i decided to choose the blogs i like.
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A brilliant extract, Diana. Your characters are very interesting.
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Thanks, Robbie. I’m only on the second draft so still a long way to go, but it’s nice to share some little bits now and then. Thanks for stopping by!
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Loving this already (was there any doubt?)
🙂
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Awww. Thanks, Nick. It’s coming along slowly and steadily. Only second draft, so lots of work left. but the big chunks of the story are in place and plot holes resolved. Thanks for reading and enjoy your Sunday. 🙂
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Looking forward to getting my paws on the whole thing! 😀
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Catching my breath. The imagination is profound and disturbing (as in disturbing the normal and showing us what could be envisioned, with multitudes of creativity). Your dialogue should be used in a Master’s English class. I certainly learn from it. And lastly, don’t you also, in some teeny way, feel that you’ve swallowed a few souls yourself, Diana? (ie, creating your characters and making them breathe and laugh and love).
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Thanks so much, Pam. These two characters just lend themselves to this kind of dialog. It’s weird how that happens. It’s not me, I swear. They’re just talking in my head – Ha ha. The biggest challenge with this book is having characters with other characters inside them. A lot to keep track of! Thanks so much for the fun comment. Happy Writing. ❤
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I can understand this – your characters ‘giving’ you their dialogue, for sure. But you’re right, characters talking WITHIN the characters? Whoaaaaa. ;-0
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It seems like something I should read. By the way, I’m reading this book called ‘Catling’s Bane’, by a certain D. Wallace Peach! It’s wonderful!
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Awww. Thank you, Basilike. That’s so sweet and you truly made my day. I do hope it holds your attention all the way through. Thanks for stopping by to take a look at the new one in the works. Have a wonderful weekend. 🙂
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You too, Diana! It is already holding my attention. Right now I’m not sure if I want to stay a little more up and write or go to bed and read!
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I’m hooked! Now I know what you are doing all day while you are staying in your pajamas!
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Exactly, Molly. I’m such a slow writer than I don’t have time to get dressed. Ha ha. Glad you enjoyed this. It’s gradually coming together. Have a great weekend!
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As long as you don’t adopt my bad habits and forget to brush your teeth, I think you are going to be okay. 😉
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Ha ha ha. Oh, goodness, we’re so alike. Ha ha ha.
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This is an enchanting and exciting excerpt Diane. I can’t wait to move forward into this fantastic tale. You are truly good at the mystical sci fi.
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Thanks so much, Holly. It’s been an interesting challenge to have most of the characters have other characters inside their heads. 😀 I’m glad you enjoyed the snippet. Happy Weekend, my friend.
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It’s very exciting you’ve got a hell of an imagination there Lady! Love that. ♥️
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What a vivid imagination to picture the effects of swallowing another soul to mingle with the ones already occupying Danzell. Just brilliant. I hate to point it out, but there is another typo – third paragraph, second line, the word eigth is missing an ‘h’ – eighth. Great creative writing, Diane.
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Ack. I should have spell checked. Duh. All fixed. 😀 And thanks, Jan, for the comment the writing. It’s been interesting creating characters who have other characters in their heads! Keeps me on my toes. Have a wonderful weekend. 🙂
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Love it. Fantasy and science fiction are amongst my favourite genres. Intriguing fellows these soul swallowers.
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Thanks, Jan. Yes, these soul swallowers are a different sort and there are definitely some down sides. 🙂 Thanks so much for stopping by and I’m glad you enjoyed the little snippet. Have a great weekend!
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Thank you and the same to you. I look forward to seeing more of this work. 🤗
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It’s beautifully written Diana (though there is one typo in paragraph 15, ‘it’ should be ‘if’) as ever. You write so eloquently that I can’t help but be captivated even though the thought of a soul swallower is more than my sensibilities can cope with. I’m over half way through Oathbreakers’ Guild and taking my time reading it just because I enjoy the language and images so much and being new to fantasy I’m letting it all soak in. I can see your work easily seguing into movies – I’d love to see your rivers and cities on film!! 🙂
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Thanks so much for catching the typo, Pauline. All fixed! And I’m glad you’re enjoying the books. It’s a challenge reading in a genre that doesn’t usually appeal, so I appreciate it that you’re giving it a chance. And movie! Well, I would love that! Ha ha. Maybe James Cameron will give me a call. ❤
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Or Peter Jackson…. though he would probably upgrade the fight scenes too much…. 🙂 But it could happen you know, just believe!
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Oh goodness, yes! Show me the dotted line! Ha ha. Until then, I’ll just stay in the present and enjoy the day to day creativity. ❤
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Oooo!
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Ha ha ha. Love the comment, Jennie. Thank you!
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You’re welcome, Diana!
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So intriguing, I’m also looking forward to this! I’m on book 3 of The Rose Shield series already, can’t put them down!!
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Ha ha. Yay! I’m so glad your blasting through them, Kathryn. That’s a good sign. The last one, Kari’s Reckoning, really ramps up! Soul Swallowers is still a bit away… probably late spring. I’m going slow and trying to get it right. Have a great weekend, my friend. 🙂
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More than these scary soul swallowers, it is the language that you use to describe them, that entraps me…your fantasy is out of this world Diana!
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Was this scary? Ha ha. You are such a tender soul, Balroop. Thanks so much for the lovely comment. I try hard to make it “entrapping!” Have a wonderful weekend. 😀
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Very creative and engaging. Thanks Diana.
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Thanks for reading, Brad, especially since this piece is a little longer. I’m plugging away at it. Have a wonderful weekend. 🙂
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You are such a good writer, Diana! I was completely engaged from the start. As I’ve said before, I’ve read very little fantasy – was lucky to get through the Chronicles of Narnia back in the 90’s. However, I am convinced I could read a book of yours from start to finish — possibly even in one sitting. Excellent work!
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Thank you, Andy, for the lovely comment. I realize that fantasy isn’t for everyone. I try to focus on the human stories which I hope translates to a broader audience, but for some people it’s a stretch. I do hope that if you get a chance to try one of my books, you enjoy it. 🙂 I’d be happy to send you one. ❤
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Well, perhaps the first book in your trilogy, which I believe is Caitling’s Bane?
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Would you send me an email when you get a chance? dwallacepeach@gmail.com. Give me an address where I can mail it and I’ll send it off. 🙂
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Diana, every word, the story flow, kept me reading. You’re a master at description & dialogue. Just knowing these two characters made me want to read the book. Happy weekend! 🌷 Christine
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read, Christine. These two aren’t the main characters, but they do have big roles, and their relationship is a fun one to write. Have a wonderful weekend and Happy Writing, my friend. ❤
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Swallowed every word, slipping off the tongue, heard inside as if said …
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Thanks so much for reading, Eric, and for the great comment. It’s a touch on the long side, so I appreciate you sticking with it. I’m still months away, but getting closer every day. 🙂 Happy Writing!
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What a hard worker you are, Diana. I’ve got some catching up to do. I’m two-thirds of the way through Catling’s Bane – enjoying it a lot.
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I’m such a slow writer, Anneli. I have to make it up with lots of hours chained to the laptop. Thanks so much for stopping by and for the mention of Catling’s Bane. I hope you’re enjoying it.
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I am enjoying it very much. As I told you, I’m not generally a fan of fantasy, but I like your writing and now I’m all caught up in the plot of the story as well. So maybe I do like fantasy after all???? 😉
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It’s a broad genre. I’m thrilled if you’ve found something to enjoy. 🙂
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