Yesterday, Sacha Black announced the winner of her
13 STEPS TO EVIL Writing Competition.
The assignment was to write a short piece (exactly 208 words) with a “seriously kick-ass villain.” Fortunately, I’d just read Sacha’s book: 13 Steps to Evil, which is full of awesome tips about creating dastardly bad guys. Now, I swear I’m a nice person, but this challenge was irresistible, and I’m honored that my story placed first in evilness. Congratulations to Charise de Becker and Judy E. Martin for their winning submissions. Pop over to read their evil writing at 13 Steps to Evil #Writespiration Writing Competition Winners.
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Pixabay image
Barus
The woman studied him in silence. Barus sensed her eyes on his face, begging for a glance, on his hands as he cleaned the delicate needles and polished his blades. He possessed exquisite hands, long-fingered, soft and nimble. Hands for caressing the cheeks of children and lovers.
His preparations complete, he faced his charge. “Are you comfortable?”
Her brow furrowed, and he sighed, for how could she answer such a question? “An unfair inquiry. My apologies. Are you in pain? Thirsty?”
She shook her head, the gag preventing all but a muffled reply.
“You must understand the empire’s need for a flaying, a warning to all who flirt with rebellion. Your ordeal will save hundreds, perhaps thousands of lives.” He took a stool beside her chair, brushed a bright tear from her eye, and stroked her iron-bound arm. “I shall be quick.”
Her fingers curled into a fist. He withdrew his touch, the time for compassion ended. The life of his young son depended on unbearable pain, and he, the emperor’s latest executioner, would comply.
He unbound her gag, and she spat in his face, cursed his spirit to the shadowlands. He smiled at her prophetic appeal. Needles first, then knives. The entire city would hear her scream.
Myths of the Mirror 
Many congratulations on your win, Diana. That was 208 scary words that had my teeth on edge. I’m sure I heard the sound of sharpening knives while reading it. 😱
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You’r comment gave me chills, Hugh. Thanks for the cheer but I think this is as far a Barus is going to go. 😀 Have a great week!
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No way would I want to be captured by Barus!! Scary!
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Ha ha ha. He’s tricky. It seems like he’s been forced into this situation, but then there’s that smile…. ugh. Thanks for stopping by to read. 😀
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I do have a weakness for bad boys – it’s forever my curse so now I’m trying (but failing) to go for the good ones – even if they’re just characters in a book.
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That bad boy allure is interesting, isn’t it? The good ones make for much more peaceful lives though. 😀
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Who knew you were a horror writer, too, Diana! Congratulations!
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Ha ha. I’m not! The only future for a story like this would be that Barus (early in the book) defies his masters and then spends the rest of the book trying to overcome his past and baser nature. It would be an interesting story to write, but I couldn’t write horror. Too scary!
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Congratulations, Diana! As always, you gave your readers much more than the 208 words can hold 🙂
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Thank you, Inese. A rather dark one, but it did the trick. Have a wonderful week with no signs of villains. ❤
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Thank you Diana! Wishing you too a safe and wonderful week! ❤
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Congratulations once again Diana, so well deserved ❤
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Thank you, Sacha. It was a “fun” exercise and I do like a deeply complex villain with lots going on in his or her personality. I’m honored that you enjoyed my “kick-ass” Barus. 😀
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Congratulations, Diana! Very creepy, reminiscent of serial killer characters I’ve been reading, but even better because of the redeeming quality of wanting to protect his son. Excellent (if evil 😉 )
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Thanks, Julie. I “enjoyed” trying to make him a bit layered. Are you reading about serial killers? Real ones? Research? Yikes. Well, have fun with that! Ha ha. Happy Writing. 🙂
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Oh my goodness, Diana. This was so morbidly fascinating. The image sticking with me are his hands, the ones that caress children and lovers are the same working with knives and needles. That name is so perfect too, even sounds like the perfect villain. Congratulations!
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Thanks, Lana. I’m glad you noticed the hands. Beautiful hands, both instruments of pain and pleasure. The name just popped into my head as if it had been there all along. Funny how that happens. Have a wonderful week, my friend. 🙂
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Congratulations Diana.. and thanks for the last images I will take away with me before bed tonight…….xx
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Ha ha ha. You’re welcome, Sally, but I hope you had sweet dreams regardless. 🙂 He is fictional after all… I hope. xx Hugs xx
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A bit like your muse!! hugs xx
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My heart is beating much too fast after reading this award-winning piece, so many emotions and passion, both characters prisoners in those exquisite and excruciating moments…
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What a wonderful comment. I’m glad you recognized that Barus’s choices too are limited, but then he does have that smile….
This was “fun” layering his character. Thanks for stopping by and have a great week!
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I’m going to have nightmares tonight – thanks to you. You are evil!! :-0 (But the writing is incredible – I can see why you won first place.)
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Thanks, Pam. I do like complex villains, and I tried to stuff a lot into this short piece Yes, he isn’t a person I’d like to meet ever! Have a great week and Happy Writing!
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I’m halfway through Caitlyn’s Bane and totally hooked!
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Oh. I’m all quivery shivers, Pam. You are so sweet. I swear as soon as I get through my first draft, yours is at the top of the pile. 🙂 I’m so glad you’re enjoying it. ❤
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Holding my breath as I read..Caitlin is on her way to Ava-Grea with Vianne!! What a world you’ve created.
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🙂 Yay!
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Haha First in Evilness I love it. Congratulations Diana 🙂 My goodness ! Creepy …..and dark….awful and just so cruel…. Really really good though, just another side to your talents. Have a good weekend. 🙂
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Thanks, Lynne. I’m not much into horror, so I don’t think this will go anywhere. It was an interesting exercise though and I learned a bit while crafting it. Have a wonderful week!
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Personally I like to sleep at night 🙂 but you had fun and that is what matters. Thanks you have a good week too!
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I commented over at Sacha’s but it’s not showing up. I said something along the lines of how much I loved this piece. Well-deserved win for a villain. He’s… Barus. 😈 It’s brilliant.
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Because I moderate! Sorry, I am a little behind again 😦
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So do I (moderate). And so am I (running behind). 😉 Just letting Diana know I loved her piece. I’ll wager 50% of bloggers are a “little behind”. I’d go higher, but let’s say fifty for the sake of argument.
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Thanks, Sarah. It was fun trying to create a creepy but complex personality in such a short piece. I had to stop before the torture actually began! Have a great week 😀
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Well, you did an amazing job of it. And, also, thank you. *shudders*
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He is evil, but I could almost forgive him, if the life of his son hangs in the balance. The truly evil one to me is the Emperor who is manipulating him.
Though, I wonder, if the whole city can hear her screams… how will his son feel, knowing his life was saved only because his father turned evil and tortured another person? Her cries will forever resonate in his mind, and will probably be a shell of a human.
This said, maybe this is what happened to his father, maybe he heard his own father torture someone in order to save his life and that messed with his brain so much that he grew up to become this?
Interesting, tought-provoking, nerve-racking story Diana!
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Some or all could be true, Dawn. I was trying to add some complexity so in addition to his smile, there was also some rational and sympathetic motivation for his actions. And maybe the rebellion is somehow faulty and this sacrifice will indeed save thousands. Who knows. Thanks for delving into this one. Have a great week!
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Yes, I know! So much complexity in such few words! A master at work!
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Congratulations, Diana. Creepy, and good.
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Congratulations, Diana. You are a woman of many talents. This truly is evil. I couldn’t even have come up with it!
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It was sort of a character-building exercise, Jacqui – using the tips and trying to create a character with depth and various motivations. Normally, I’m not quite this gruesome! Thanks for stopping by to read. 😀
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oh goodnesss!
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Ha ha ha. I know. It’s creepy and awful, but as an exercise in building an villain, it was interesting. Enjoy a wonderful evil-free weekend!
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Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
Congratulations to Diana!
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Thanks for the reblog! Yay!
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This character is indeed evil, Diana. This is the kind of reading I wouldn’t do just before bedtime. I can understand how you won the competition. Good writing. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Thanks so much for stopping by to read, Suzanne. No, not a piece to read before bedtime. Have a lovely, evil-free weekend. 😀
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Yikes!! My throats is clamped shut from the evil emanating from your piece. Congratulations, Diana…frighteningly evil.
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Ha ha. Thanks, Annika. It was fun to work this, and the assignment, with the elements I was trying to incorporate, gave me a little distance from this character. He is creepy. Happy weekend, my friend. 🙂
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Creepy, menacing, frightening…I could go on! I’m intrigued that there is some explanation for his evil in order to save his son…but is that enough for us to understand/forgive him. Not really.
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What if by torturing this woman he saves thousands of lives? I tried to give him some complexity, but then… he smiles. To me that’s the really creepy part. Thanks for reading and have a wonderful, villain-free week!
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Nasty… but so many undercurrents…
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Very nasty, Sue. I was trying to build a character with more going on than just evil. I’m leaving this one here, though – no book plans!
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You never know when he’ll show up now you’ve brought him into being…
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I think if he has a future it will eventually be in defying his masters and recovering what he can of his own humanity.
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That might be a good one to write…
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Wow, a compelling scene. Well-deserved, Diana, congrats! 🙂
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Thanks, Sebnem. It was kind of fun as a character study, but I stopped before the torture began. That would be too creepy! Ha ha. Happy Saturday. 🙂
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You’re on fire girl! Scary, good stuff! Congrats on winning Sacha’s contest! ❤
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Thanks for the cheer, Debby. It was fun but kind of creepy too. I had to stop before the cutting began! Have a great weekend!
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No doubt! 😉
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Scary. Chills! As soon as I read evil and “Seriously Kick-ass Villain” I knew something was coming. Congratulations on the win, Diana.
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Thanks, Mary. This was a first and I’m excited to branch out and maybe do a few more. This was fun but also sort of creepy! Ha ha. Have a great evil-free weekend. 🙂
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Powerful!
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Thanks for stopping by, Bette. It was a challenging assignment and I wish I could read all the results. That said, I’d probably have nightmares. Have a wonderful evil-free weekend. :<3
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Thanks, Diana. You have a lovely weekend too! 🙂 xo
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Congratulations, Diana. Chilling villain!
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Thanks, Steve. Even a little chilling for me. Hope your weekend is wonderful and villain-free. 🙂
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Congrats Diana…I know you are so good at ‘kick ass villains’ 🙂
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Thanks, Balroop. This guy even gave me the chills! But I was so delighted that I pulled it off. Happy weekend!
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Oh! Blown away!!
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Thanks, Holly. Pretty nasty, huh? I am a really nice gentle person! Have a lovely weekend, my friend. ❤
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You do have a knack for writing baddies. Perhaps that’s one of the key elements of your stories – having a really nasty villain. Algar, Mikel, Phelan, Merrick and the rest. All individuals with different traits but all reet nasty pieces of work that deserve sticky ends. 😉
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I like the cerebral villains the best, Nick. The ones that are cold sociopaths but smart and able to justify their actions. They scare me the most. Thanks for reading and have a sociopath-free weekend! 😀
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Gulp! I think you set the evil mood very well.
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Thanks, Brad. I would NOT want to be that woman. Ugh! Thanks for reading and have a great weekend. Say hi to your mom for me. 😀
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I’m glad she’s just a creative figure. 🙂 Mom and I had a nice visit and I’m on the way home.
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Ugh! My God, Diana, how could someone so lovely write such a horrific character? I enjoyed him immensely. 😂 Congratulations!
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Bwa ha ha ha ha. Your comment cracked me up. Sacha’s book has great tips for building evil villains (or not so evil villains). This was fun to write and chilling, but I think this is where it ends. 🙂
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Will I be able to sleep tonight?
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Yes. Just fiction, even if its a bit creepy and icky and evil. Ha ha. Have a wonderful evening and weekend, Anneli. 🙂
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Bone-chilling brilliance. Well done, D. and….gasp !
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Thanks for stopping by to read this bit of horror, Van. I won’t be sad to leave it behind, but it was a thrill to get Sacha’s seal of evil approval. Have a wonderful weekend. 🙂
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Does the executioner take pride in his work, or does he act on sufferance?
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I tried to give it a little of both, Frank. There’s an element of duress, and a bit of the “necessary evil,” but he’s also not feeling much angst about it. It was fun to write but kind of icky too. Thanks for reading!
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I was discussing a couple of days ago with someone how writing scenes of sexual assault can be slightly traumatic for the author. Torture scenes can have a similar impact.
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I agree with that. I don’t know if I could have actually started the torture on this one. Just working up to it was scary enough.
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Very powerful. It’ll keep me up tonight…gee, thanks for that.
Well written, tight while giving a complete story.
Bravo. Well deserved first place.
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Thanks, Sheron. Sorry no sleep for you tonight – but a good reason to stay up and write! Thanks for taking a peek and have a great weekend!
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Ohhhh my wow
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I know, Lynn. It’s awful, isn’t it? Yikes. It even scares me! Thanks for visiting and only happiness allowed this weekend. 🙂
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❤️❤️❤️
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Oh my goodness, Diana. I could never, ever write something like this. It is excellent but I shudder at the thought.
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Me, too, Robbie. It gives me the creeps to read it. But it’s not part of a book, so I can leave it here and never look back. 🙂 Have a great weekend.
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And by the way, congratulations. 🙂
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Thanks! 😀
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Evil stuff you got there. The world has never known a bad guy before now.
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Thanks, Andy. I think the world has lots of bad guys, but this one is going to stay fictional. Have a wonderful good-guy weekend. 🙂
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Of course I was hyperbolic. One recalls Robespierre, Genghis Khan, et al. I think I’ll limit my evil this weekend to three white lies with a blush on my face. You have a good one as well. 🙂
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Congratulations on coming in first.. I can see why… ewww
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I know. It’s horrible. Ha ha. Ick. But it was fun as an exercise, right? 🙂 Thanks, Annette.
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Deliciously horrible! 😨
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Thanks Vivian. Isn’t it awful? It was fun to write but horrible too. Ha ha. Happy Weekend!
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I enjoyed it thoroughly! You too- good wknd!
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Powerful!
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Fortunately this isn’t part of a book, Paul. I can leave this one in the dust. 🙂 Have a great weekend. 🙂
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For this there should be a ‘shudder’ button! ‘Like’ hardly cuts it! Congratulations.
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It sort of creeps me out too, Philippa. Ick. Ha ha. Thanks for stopping by to read.
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