This is a 500-word stand-alone flash piece. I hope you enjoy.
The Hunt
I found the woman that Kester shot, stiff and snow-dusted beneath a fir. Other footprints head north, the white glaze of ice crunching as we track them in our heavy boots. This is my first hunt, my first war, old enough now to join the rebellion and execute my neighbors. Better than a bullet in the back, Kester says. You have to pick sides in these things.
“We’re stopping for the night.” Kester kicks the snow and points at the trees with his rifle. “You’re in charge of wood, Grayse. The rest of you set up camp.” I stare into the black forest beyond the body, my eyeballs stinging, toes gone numb hours ago. “Get going,” he barks at me. “I’m gods-damn freezing.”
My rifle abandoned, I trudge into the winter barrens beneath a star-spilled sky. The trees are giants wearing snow-draped robes, yet their crisp twigs and dead branches snap like small bones. I fill my arms, tramp back, and head out for more. Kester will nod when it’s enough, so there’s no point in asking.
Worried about losing my way, I follow the tracks while gathering my sticks, and the trek is easier where the snow’s crust was broken. Before I’ve hiked far, the trees thin and part, and at the forest’s edge, the night burns in a fire-show of light, rippling in hues of topaz and tourmaline.
Beneath the sky’s blazing ribbons, a village winks into existence, candles glowing in frosted windowpanes. I blink and rub my eyes with frozen fingers. Across the pale snow, I behold my countrymen staggering, stiffly, colder than death, lurching like disjointed corpses toward salvation. Their skeletal shadows stretch in the holy light back to me.
“Grayse! Graaaaayse,” Kester bellows from the forest, searching, my absence too long. “Graaaayse.”
In a panic, I run toward the village. I don’t know why. Do I seek its snug hearths or the promise of golden windows beneath a child’s magical sky? Or do I flee my future? Am I a weapon of the soulless, a beast in a child’s skin, killing my victims in the cold? Before me, the hunted weep and fall as they flee. I grab a man who pleads on his knees and hoist him up. Arm in arm, we stumble through the deep snow before the calls of my pursuers.
The last to reach the village, the man staggers through an open door and turns, beckoning me inside. I want to join him in the warmth and light. Instead, I draw my knife and face the skylit snow and black rim of forest.
“What the hell, Grayse?” Kester demands as my unit tramps toward me across the barrens.
“I was…” Despairing, I glance back before attempting to explain the village, to defend my actions, but behind me, nothing more than the night’s aurora ripples over the snow. “I was…lost.”
Kester smacks me across the face. “Run off out here, you get lost forever.”
“No,” I murmur. “You get found.”
Flickr Image: Northern Lights, Yukon, Canada www.studiolit.com
This is so beautiful Diana. I see a story in the making…
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Thank you, Neelima. So glad you enjoyed it. I thiink this one will stay a flash piece, but I’m glad it’s engaging 😀 Have a wonderful weekend and happy writing!
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This piece really evoked what it feels like to trudge through a stark snowscape! Well done, Diana!
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Thank you! I have trudged through those landscapes so I’m glad I brought it to life 😀 Stay warm and have a great weekend!
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I really enjoyed reading this! I especially loved the metaphor that you used when describing the trees in the third paragraph. I hate to focus on that one line in such a wholly beautiful piece, but it really jumped at me for some reason.
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Thanks for the comment, Alex. I like doing these short flash pieces and I’m glad you liked it. Have a great holiday and Happy New Year. 🙂
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Same to you Diana! I will definitely have to try a flash piece and see if it works as well for me as it did for you! 😀
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Beautiful imagery in this one. And I do love flash. Very nice!
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Thanks so much for reading. This is a little darker, but with a bit of hope for Grayse’s found humanity at the end. Happy Writing, my friend. 😀
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“Beneath the sky’s blazing ribbons, a village winks into existence, candles glowing in frosted windowpanes.” How gorgeous!
I love flash stories too. They are so intense but they feel effortless compared to longer pieces. And Diana, you rock at it! You depicted an entire world in such vivid and intense details. I love it!
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Thank you for the great comment. I do like doing these. I almost always need prompts to inspire and then they just take off. Happy Writing and Happy Holidays!
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It was my pleasure reading you :). I feel the same about flash stories. Just one word is enough to get me started. It feels like a challenge each time and I love tackling that sort of thing. Thank you, happy writing and lovely holidays to you too ❤
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This is dark, Diana, but at the same time such beautiful imagery. I felt as though I were out there in the snowy night with them. Lovely.
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Thanks, Helen. Yes, a bit dark. Grayse finds his humanity at the end so there is hope for him, but the situation is pretty ugly. Thanks for reading. And I hope you have a brilliant holiday 🙂
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Thanks, Diana! Happy holidays to you too 😀
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Awesome 500! Your story fits in with the snowy boughs alongside the posts here on your blog. Makes me feel the chill Grayse feels. But, it isn’t nighttime. 🙂
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Thanks for reading, Mary. A bit dark but with some hope at the end 🙂 Hope you are warm and ready for the holidays! ☃️ ⛄️ ❄️
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I enjoyed your 500 word story. Well, let’s see. I’m mostly warm and close to ready for the holidays. 🙂 Hoping the same for you!
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The last line made it for me. Great!
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Thanks, Richard. A simple line but the clincher. I was playing around with an Amazing Grace theme…saving a wretch like me, getting lost and getting found. Glad you enjoyed it!!!!
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I sure did.
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You managed to include a great deal in those 500 words, Diana. It made me feel the cold. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Thanks, my friend, for reading all these posts! You are very sweet. I’m glad you enjoyed the story. ❤
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Such a wonderful piece Diana! I really felt like I was in the story, on that cold night. I love the ending…”you get found.” Awesome job!
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Thanks so much for the comment, Antonia. A little dark but with a message of hope. Happy Holidays 🙂
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Happy Holidays to you as well 😀
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Great writing, Diana which pulled me in from the start. Oh, I felt for Grayse and whilst wanting him to find safety and comfort in the village realise this would never be an option for him. Love the last line – sums it up perfectly. Hope we will see more of these flash pieces…😀
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I’m so glad you enjoyed my cheery Christmas offering 🙂 Ha ha. I would have liked him to find safety too, but that wasn’t part of his journey to self. I love doing flash pieces…I’m certain there will be more 🙂 Happy Holidays!
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I loved this short, suspense-filled piece, Diana! I like how Grayse finds the place in his heart to realize the horror of war. I love the descriptions, nice and cold….could truly feel it!
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Thanks so much for reading, Lana. I can’t say it was a fun story to write, but I did connect with the character. I hope you’re cozy and enjoying the season. 🙂
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Sometimes we must write both the funny and the nitty gritty. It was a terrific read. I am staying warm and looking forward to Xmas break. Hope you are also warm and enjoying the glory of the season. 😀
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Great flash, Diana! Love the pic as well. Both are very powerful. And I could see this scene fleshed out into much more. Hope you’re staying warm and having a great week!
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Thanks for reading, Julie. I like writing flash pieces – they’re nice breaks from more intense writing. Say warm too up there and happy holidays to you 🙂
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Loved it. I’ve never seen the Northern Lights in person, but reading this I felt like I could tip my head back and watch the colours dance across the sky. Perfect setting for this mysterious story.
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I haven’t seen them in person either, Lisa, but will someday. Hopefully not under these circumstances, though. Thanks for reading and Happy Holidays 🙂
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Beautiful and intense setting, Diana. An atmospheric and chilling flash piece.
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Thanks for reading, Steven. I could do these flash pieces all day. Forget books. Ha ha. Happy Writing, my friend.
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Yes. they are fun… and so freeing, like short winding roads. 🙂
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Such a gripping piece of flash, enjoyed it so much Diana. 🙂
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Thanks for visiting, Marje. A little dark for the holiday season, but with a glimmer of hope at the end 🙂 Have a wonderful day and Happy Writing!
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Thank you and you too. Happy writing. 🙂
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Intense, war, conflict, and humanity in the end. Wonderful writing Diana. 🙂
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Thanks, Debby. I’d be happy just writing flash pieces. LOL. Glad you enjoyed the piece. Have a great week. 🙂
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Somehow, I think you would be. Perhaps a book of short stories is in the future? 🙂
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Maybe after the current WIP 🙂
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Yes, there certainly doesn’t seem to be a shortage of work for us Diana. 🙂
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Vivid and gripping are the very best descriptors for this piece… and your writing in general. I love the easy and natural flow and cadence of your writing! Happiest of the season to you 🙂
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Thanks for the lovely comment, Felicity. I so appreciate it. Have a great day and Happy Writing 🙂
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Well done, Diana!
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Thanks, Bette. A little grim for Christmas time but with a glint of home. Happy Holidays 🙂
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Happy Holidays & Hugs! 🙂
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Wow! That was a gripping tale and I love the twist in the ending.
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Thanks, Jade. I’m so glad you liked it. I’m a big fan of flash pieces. Have a great week and Happy Writing!
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I’m also a fan of flash pieces, and this was an example of a well-written one! Happy Writing to you too Diana 🙂
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You have so many gifts, but what strikes me about this story is the strong sense of place. The setting is vivid. I must have mentioned this before, right? Anyway, I’m also curious about how you come up with names for your characters. they’re also highly original.
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In this case, the story has a bit of Amazing Grace buried in it, therefore “Grayse” is intentional. In getting lost in war, in winter, he gets found by something higher that saves him – his compassion and humanity. Now, Kester just popped into my head, which is how most names happen. Thanks so much for reading and for the lovely comment, Susanne 🙂
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Loved reading it… liked how you ended with “You get found.” Hope is like a drink of water, helps you survive…
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Thanks for reading. That’s actually my favorite line in the story. I like the idea of the character finding his humanity, his spirit, hope, and himself. ❤
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Always a pleasure to read your posts. That is a catchy line, such few words yet filled with so much hope.
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Wow, Diana!! Oh, you really should think about expanding on this one…please, please!
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Oh, boy. Ha ha. The nice thing about flash pieces is that they don’t need a past or future. But if the rest of the story comes to me…maybe. Thanks so much for reading and Happy Holidays!
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A powerful piece of writing.
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Thank you, Bernadette. It’s a bit dark for Christmastime, but there’s a little bit of hope at the end. 🙂 Happy Holidays!
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It sure starts with a bang–“I found the woman that Kester shot”. It reminds me of one I read–“She couldn’t believe she was dying in English”. Opening lines like these are like the 140-character Twitter story where you fit everything into a short space.
Great start and even greater finish.
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Thanks so much, Jacqui. I know quite a few people who are doing twitter stories. I’m resisting. I’m glad you enjoyed the read. 🙂
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Wow so intense Diana! Always a pleasure to read your words!
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Thanks, Lynn. A little on the dark side for the holidays, but with a hopeful message at the end about finding one’s humanity. 🙂 Be well and enjoy the snow!
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yes a great ending!
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Wow. That was intense, but beautiful. Getting found…indeed.
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Yes! Finding his humanity in the midst of the insanity of war. Thanks for reading, Van, and for getting the message I tried to convey. 🙂 Happy Holidays, my friend.
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And to you, the very same, D. 🎄 ❤️ 💛 🎄
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The setting was so strong, overshadowing the pettiness of war, at least that is what I took away from this. Made me think of compassion, and conversely, torment. Stunning write, Diana, a real joy to read this morning.
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Thanks, Kelly. I wanted to give a young soldier’s perspective, the disorientation of war (you get lost) and the choice for compassion, to retain his humanity (you get found). I’m go glad you enjoyed it. Happy Holidays!
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You certainly succeeded in doing so. I liked his choice.
Happy holidays as well 🙂
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Gripping! Well done Grayse, glad you live to describe another perilous venture, hopefully soon.
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Thanks for reading, Phil. This was just a short flash piece for the holidays. 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed it though it was a little grim. Happy writing.
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Diana, I liked the touch of poetry in this dark story. I guess this is one of your ruthless and crude characters from your book but he is very impressive! The backdrop too is well-defined, within a few well chosen words. 🙂
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This is a stand alone flash piece, Balroop. Yes, a darker piece about war and inhumanity, identity and compassion. Also about being spiritually lost and found. I’m glad you liked it 🙂 Happy Writing, my friend.
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A fascinating tale Diana! “he trees are giants wearing snow-draped robes, yet their crisp twigs and dead branches snap like small bones.” Priceless! ❤
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Thanks so much for reading, Holly. I love great imagery and wish it came more naturally instead of having to drag it out of my brain. Glad you enjoyed the piece. Happy Writing!
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I Enjoy it very much D. You are fabulous at creating the scene, if it is difficult one would never guess it 🙂
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Is this a stand alone or a snippet from one of your books? It begs for more…or maybe that me? 🙂
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Stand alone, Cynthia. I wrote it as a 500 word flash piece after seeing a short tv clip on northern lights. I’m so glad that you enjoyed it!
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