My fixed oven and stove
I can’t cook.
It’s one of those skills that never penetrated the thick membrane that lines my skull and keeps my brain from leaking. I marvel at foodies who produce mouth-watering cuisine using random supplies from the pantry and refrigerator. Despite good intentions, I peer into those mysterious places and my mind goes blank.
My husband took over the grocery shopping 10 years ago when he noticed that “grocery shopping” failed to result in groceries. When the poor man eats one of my meals and says, “that was good,” it comes out sounding surprised. Like going to the dentist for a root canal and not experiencing any pain. It’s jaw-dropping amazing!
So, when we moved into our current house 6 years ago, it didn’t bother me that only one burner on the gas stove worked. My cooking is far from fancy, and juggling a pot and pan over the single flame was no biggie.
Then, this past June, the electric-powered oven broke. With only one working burner, the oven was somewhat handy. The three meals I make that consistently earn a “that was good” comment are oven-made, so this was not a positive turn of events.
We ordered the new element, and when it arrived two weeks later, the dear man tried to install it and broke the thingy inside the back of the oven. A gas-related complication meant that any attempt at further repair was likely to end with parts of this author and her handy hubby sprinkling the mountainside. We needed a professional.
Now, my better half thinks that since I started writing, my ability to accomplish basic tasks around the house has deteriorated to the point where he’d rather do everything himself. I have no idea where this silly thought came from, but I’m not complaining. More time to write. He takes on the responsibility of calling the manufacturer to see if there’s a repair service somewhere willing to send someone into the wilderness to fix this thing.
Stuck with a single burner and no oven, I have no choice but to cook stir-fry.
30 days later, I’m still cooking stir-fry.
60 days later, I’m getting a little sick of stir-fry.
90 days later, I decide to make stir-fry interesting and roll it up in wraps with sour cream and salsa. Hubby announces he needs to get that oven fixed ASAP.
120 days later, neither of us can deal with any more stir-fry. We loathe stir-fry and stir-fry wraps. Hubby calls Gadget who lives ten miles down the road. Despite some bad weather, Gadget comes over three days later and fixes the oven!
But wait, what about the burners! This very lovely fellow looks down the gas jet thingys and raises his eyebrows. “I think you have spider webs in your gas jets.” I haven’t used those burners in the 6 years I’ve lived here, so it sounds reasonable to me. He starts pulling the “web” out with a tiny hook, and it’s not spider webbing after all. It’s decade old mouse nesting. Ick. Yuck, Blech.
Anyway, now the burners all work and the oven is fixed, thanks to Gadget. To celebrate this miracle, the hubby ventured out in the rain, wind, and stormy weather to buy ingredients for one of my three reliably “good” meals. I’m all set to cook eggplant parmesan and garlic bread.
Then the power goes out!
**
This post is dedicated to a few blogging foodies that I’ve followed for some time now. They inspire me to try new recipes. Now I can!
Kathryn at Another Foodie Blogger
Lynne at Lynne’s Recipe Trails
Antonia at Zoale
Lynn at Lynz Real Cooking
If you like to cook (or want to try), click on over and pay them a visit. 🙂
Myths of the Mirror 
[…] some of you remember my Oven Saga where I survived without an oven for 4 months and only one stovetop burner for 6 years. The […]
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PAHAHAHAAHAHAH, I mean, totes sorry for your 120 day pain, but too funny at the end! This has made me smile. ❤ ❤ thank you for a grin on a Monday morning :p
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Thanks for reading, Sasha. This is pretty much how my life goes. I just have to laugh. All is working now and we haven’t had stirfry in two weeks! Have a good one, my friend. 🙂
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So, you’re a humor writer too! I’m teaching my writing students about how to write humor, and guess what? It petrifies them. Humor is so much harder than writing about sex, death, or taxes, or all combined. 🙂 You hit it outside the park here, even though I probably should be moaning for you, or at least for your guy. Mice nesting, huh? Now that’s funny. Enjoy your eggplant parmesan – better than stir fry any day. xo
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Humor IS really hard, Pam. I can’t write it unless I fall into it, if that makes sense. I’m glad I hit the mark here on my kitchen trials 🙂 All is well on the cooking front. No recent stirfry! 😀
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Good news!! 🙂
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Um. Well. Just…eew! That must have been disgusting. I was chuckling all the way through then…eew.
I don’t cook, either. But I’m often in the kitchen so it’s odd. I like to say I “prepare” meals.
Also, this: “’grocery shopping’ failed to result in groceries.” I can relate to this very much. 🙂
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I agree with the eew part, Sarah. At least it was really old nesting and no corpses 🙂 Ugh. I used 3 burners at once recently while baking a quiche. A personal best! I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who is challenged in the kitchen 😀
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OMG I am dying, Diana! I love your stove! Seriously, mouse nesting?? LOL! Glad it’s finally fixed! 🙂
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Ha ha. Glad you enjoyed my oven saga, Kelly. This is pretty typical for how my life works, and my solution is to just laugh. All fixed and one night I used 3 burners at once! Thanks for the visit and have a great weekend 🙂
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You are back in business! No stopping you now! It’s so true that foodie bloggers inspire… I’ve cooked more since I started blogging. Have a great weekend as well. 🙂
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Diana, you are a great writer. You’re supposed to be a good cook too?
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Hi Frank. Answer to your question…we are who we are and that’s okay. I just get a laugh out of some of the goofy ways my life works and they’re fun to share. My cooking, btw, has improved significantly with the return of the oven. We’re actually having dinner guests tomorrow!! Thanks for the visit, my friend. ❤
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Ha! My husband consistently tells me I should focus more on the house then my writing. *Shakes head* He just doesn’t understand. Cleaning the bathroom just isn’t as exciting as hanging out with one my characters. 🙂
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So true about housework, Lily! We’re having company on Sunday and my husband asked me today if I planned to do anything about the cobwebs 🙂 Writing is way more fun. Thanks for the visit and Happy Writing. The bathroom can wait!
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Just as I suspected — there’s a method to your madness! 🙂
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Method? Well, I think it’s just to laugh at just about everything, provided no one gets hurt. Life is pretty darn funny. 😀 Thanks for the visit!
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Ick. Yuck, Blech << I'm with ya there, Diana. I've had spider webs in the burners at a cabin in the mountains. Mice junk in other places. Your stove is gorgeous. A gas-related complication is never a good thing. I love the way you tell true stories, too. 🙂
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Haha ha. Yeah. That part was pretty gross, Mary. Thanks for stopping by. 🙂 Happy Writing!
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OMG, Diana I laughed so hard. You sound about like me. I love your old fashioned stove/oven though. Though the entire thing works, I only use one burner on the stove… I never need more than one. As for the oven — that’s how sensitive to noise I am — I can’t stand the temperature alarm on the blasted thing. That’s why I like your old stove so much — I’m sure it doesn’t alarm. 😀 Hugs.
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You’re right, no alarm, Teagan. And all the numbers are worn off the gauge so I have no idea what temperature I’m setting the oven to. Total guesswork. I’m glad you got a laugh our of my real life kitchen adventures 🙂 Hugs, my friend.
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Wow, that’s a cooking experience. Hope everything is well now 🙂
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Thanks for the visit, Cecilia. Yes, all fixed and working fine. It’s a lot easier to cook now and the variety is welcome, even if my cooking is still rather ordinary. 😀 Happy Cooking.
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I love your oven Diana, but it sounds like quite the headache. I am so glad it is finally fixed. I am guessing stir fry is off them menu permanently? 😉 Mouse netting…I haven’t heard of that before…glad they got it out of there! You are so sweet, thank you for the mention and kind words! You have made my day 😀 I’m sorry I am so late in responding, I have been absent for several days. Thank you again and congrats on the newly fixed oven!
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You’re welcome and the visit is appreciated anytime 🙂 Yes, the oven and stovetop are fixed, and I’m cooking with a little more variety, finally. It was my pleasure to give you a mention. Happy Cooking!
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