Farm Animal Limericks

pigs-1507208_960_720

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Complete silliness. I wrote these on the back of my boarding pass during my flight to Utah.

A pig with a style debonaire
Soft-shoed it like Freddie Astaire
Cha-cha and can-can
Still pork in a pan
Thus ended his dance with a flare

Beware of the lecherous goose
His urges are bawdy and loose
Beneath his white feathers
He has studly black leathers
So his charm is a fowl-minded ruse

A feeble and cowardly chicken
Subjected to mean-hearted pickin’
Worked out day and night
Showed up for a fight
And gave those biddies a lickin’

When the summer grows hot and hazy
The cows in the meadow turn lazy
Supine they repose
with udders exposed
and the horny young oxen go crazy

A wily and smart-witted lamb
Professed to the great taste of ham
The hogs had a fit
And away they all lit
So the farmer stewed mutton and ram

A turkey who drank and gobbled
Indulged ’til his red waddle bobbled
He tried a straight strut
And he trotted well, but
In the end, that old turkey just wobbled

160 thoughts on “Farm Animal Limericks

  1. Lovely limericks. My best is the fourth one.
    Limericks is what I do on my blog. You could check it out.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. PoetSpeak says:

    Oh, wow, I loved these. Limericks are a great form of poetry. Your piglet pics are super too – so cute!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Fantastic! I have to say I do feel sorry for the animals though!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Very funny. I am curious and have to as this question because that’s what struck me as I was reading. Were you hungry at the time? :o)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Haha love these, I needed some humor today ! 🙂 Thanks Diana.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Val Boyko says:

    Brilliant! Thanks for the grin Diana 😜

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Wow, you made my day Diana..I really love how you have put a curve lines on my face after reading this.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Mick Canning says:

    Hang on to that boarding pass!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Such a treat to read!! One of the best limericks I’ve ever read!! 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Antonia says:

    Diana, this is so cute!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Diana, these are so humorous…these light, funny verses brightened up my evening reading time! You are such a gloriously versatile author. xoxo

    Liked by 2 people

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