Daniel Carver Peach 1963-2003
On July 3, 2003, my youngest brother, Dan, was murdered at the age of 40. He was shot in the eye with a rifle while in his bathroom. The murder was never officially solved, though the circumstances and events that followed make that extremely hard to believe.
I’ve been thinking about Dan lately, partly because his birthday just passed and the anniversary of his death is sneaking up. July 4th is a bittersweet holiday for us – my brother loved fireworks. He was always in charge of explosions on Independence Day.
Then I woke up to another mass shooting in the US. As I listened to the shock and grief of torn-apart families, I connected with that desperate wish that none of it was real, that somehow it wasn’t happening. The suddenness is wrenching – there’s no warning, no last check marks on the bucket lists, no goodbyes, no way to rewrite the story of a life into a gentler ending.
One of my old childhood chums is reading The Sorcerer’s Garden, and I mentioned that the three main characters are based, a bit, on my two brothers and me. In the book, a character named Cody is in a vegetative state after a tragic accident. By way of a magical book, he gets a revised ending and the other characters get closure. When I wrote the book, I was, in a way, rewriting the end of true tale, a real life, my brother’s life.
The Sorcerer’s Garden – a (slightly edited) snippet
His arms over his head, Cody stretched the last ache from his side. Morning light brightened the late summer gardens girding the palace. The air carried a hint of coolness, periwinkle blue and free of smoke. He’d traded his king’s blues for the leather breeches and jerkin of a northman despite his intention to head east. He wore a brimmed hat speared with a turkey feather, a fern-green cloak, and tawny silk scarf, the entire ensemble oddly mismatched as if he collected cast-offs from seven different households.
Behind him, a horse packed with gear chomped on his grandmother Lillian’s roses until Harris, the new Captain of the Queen’s Guard, took the reins and led it toward a patch of long grass. Cody nodded his thanks. He traded grips with Hart and kissed Cali and Candice on the cheek, the three survivors of the Guard who’d sworn to protect the princess. He would miss them as much as he already missed Tristan and Kyle, Danion, and Pagan. They had done what they’d vowed to do—saved a queen so she could restore a kingdom. Now, his next adventure called, the one that, not long ago, his grandmother told him needed to wait. The time for waiting had finally come to an end.
He kissed Lillian goodbye, and she smiled. Her silver hair shone in the sunlight and her butter-yellow robe flowed around her feet as she turned to face the fountain. Its perfectly round dream-crystal swirled beneath a glaze of streaming water. The stars and planets, the galaxies of the universe mutated in a kaleidoscope of colors, mysterious and tantalizing. “Your journey awaits you, child. You are finally free.”
“I wouldn’t have missed a moment of it,” he said. “Not a minute. I’ve lived a magnificent life.”
The queen strolled across the lawn, still reliant on Dustin’s arm. With her crown formally bestowed, the task of building a peaceful realm lay squarely on her shoulders. Yet, her first act had been personal, a request that Dustin stand at her side, first as friend and consort, and in time, when the land regained a sense of hope, as husband and king. He accepted, and though he didn’t look particularly regal in his armor and guard’s blues, he wore a ridiculous grin, clearly content in her company.
“All grown up and ready to go,” Dustin said, his arms open for an embrace.
“I never had any plans to grow up,” Cody assured him as they slapped each other’s backs. “But, yes, I’m ready to go. Have been for a while, though first we needed to take that one adventure together. Thank you, Dustin. ”
“I wouldn’t have missed it and have no desire to do it again,” Dustin said as they parted.
“Duty?” Cody asked.
“Choice,” Dustin replied with a smile for the queen.
“Clearly a good one then.”
The queen smirked. “I can order you to stay.”
“I don’t think you actually can.” Cody raised his eyebrows and shook his head.
“I thought you planned to go to sea.” She turned her gaze to Dustin. “Didn’t you once tell me he wished to try his hand as a brigand?”
“I think he expressed desires along those lines.” Dustin laughed.
“Another lifetime.” Cody’s lip tugged up. “There’s a river east of here I never finished exploring. That’s where I’m headed first. From there, I’ll see where this journey takes me.”
Tears welled in the queen’s eyes as she hugged him and whispered in his ear, “Thank you, Cody, for everything. For being a friend, for standing beside me, for accepting me and believing in me, for bringing Dustin into my life. I’m going to miss you terribly.”
Cody smiled and gave her a nod. He gripped his brother’s forearm and pulled him into a final embrace. “Life is an adventure, Dustin. And it’s so damn short. Promise me you won’t waste a moment. Follow the dreams that make you happy.”
With that, Cody mounted his horse and rode through the iron gates. He turned back, grinned and tipped his hat. The road beckoned, his next adventure begun.
Dan Peach – His next adventure begun.
Amazon
Myths of the Mirror 
Untimely passings are so sad. As much as we wouldn’t wish the pain on any of our loved ones, it gives us evidence that we are are loving to feel the loss, observe the tears, and move on…not alone and not forgetful but ever mindful and always together.
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Hi Frank 🙂 Thanks so much for the beautiful comment. Yes, the grief of loss is the cost of love and always worth it. Life is certainly bittersweet and full of stories. Thanks again for the sweet comment. Have a wonderful Sunday.
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Oh my gosh Diana, I was so sorry to read about the heinous death of your brother here. I’m so sorry for your loss, and sorry for the state of this world too. No doubt all writers bring a piece of themselves into their writing, nonfiction or fiction. ❤
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Thank you for the kind comment, Debby. I know you bring a lot of emotional honesty to your writing as well – that’s what makes it so compelling. Have a wonderful weekend. 🙂
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Life feeds us Diana. Happy Sunday to you. 🙂
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I can’t tell you how sorry I am that you lost your brother so tragically.
This post is a deeply touching, and thought-provoking tribute.
You write so beautifully.
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Thank you for the lovely comment and for reading this rather long post. I didn’t really plan to rewrite my brother’s death, but it’s what came out, and I’m glad I did it. It feels real to me. Have a wonderful weekend and spread around a little extra love ❤
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So sorry about your brother, Diana. It was rough that the horrific shooting in Florida brought it back like that. It’s an extra hurt when a loss comes on a holiday or celebration. My dad died in his sleep on July 4th, 1980. How lovely you could use your writing skill to give your brother a different honorary ending. —- Suzanne
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Thank you, Suzanne. I imagine the 4th is an odd holiday for you as well. I enjoyed writing the story, and despite this post, it’s one of my lighter books. It will have a special place in my heart. 🙂 ❤
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So sorry to learn of this tragedy with your brother! But this is a lovely tribute — this rewriting of a life’s “end”. I haven’t read this book, so I can’t comment on comparisons, but I can relate to what you say about the unexpected wrenching away of life with no time for goodbyes and bucket lists.
Orlando is our worst mass shooting yet, and I fear the culprits will keep trying to top the worst. There is terror in our streets and institutions, but there has yet to be terror in our lives to the extent that the culprits are winning by making us huddle in our homes — for that is their ultimate goal. We continue to live and honor our lives.
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Thank you for the kind comment about my brother. I hear you on these horrendous mass shootings. The big picture is even worse. We lose about 100 US citizens a day to gun violence, including suicides. That’s a 9/11 every month. I think the vast majority of us are wonderful people who will continue to love generously and live our lives with kindness, but I sure would love to see us have the political will to do something to protect each other. Hopefully, that will happen before too many more lives are lost. In the meantime, keep spreading the love 🙂 ❤
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What a dreadful, dreadful, thing. But, what a beautiful, loving way to come to terms with it. I’m so sorry for your awful loss, Diana. So sorry I can’t even begin to say.
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Thank you, Tara. Did you hit “like?” Ha ha. Just teasing. I think we draw to some degree from our own stories when we write. I wrote the book to play with the idea that “created” realities exist that are just as real as the “real” world. It wasn’t until after the book was finished that I understood the depth of what I’d done. This writing thing is quite an adventure. Thanks again for the sweet comment. 🙂 ❤
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I was so terribly sorry to hear about your brother. It was touching that you took a section of your book to give him the gentler ending he deserved. Knowing that, it’s hard not to read the Queen’s final words to Cody without tearing up.
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Thanks so much for the kind comment ❤ I think readers can sense when something is emotionally intense for the author. I read the Troy series by David Gemmell, which was finished by his wife after his death. At the end, the main character's wife writes a eulogy for her deceased husband. Wow, was that ever a tear jerker knowing the reality behind it. This writing stuff is emotional indeed 🙂
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I think you are very likely to be right about readers sensing the strength of an author’s emotion, even if they are not always sure of the precise reasons for it.
Incidentally, the example you gave of the eulogy at the end of the Troy series does sound intensely moving. I very much doubt I’d be able to read it to the end without tearing up.
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I didn’t know the details until now, but in reading The Sorcerer’s Garden … “I knew.”
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So interesting! I’m glad the book felt authentic, Erik. That’s a huge compliment 🙂 ❤ Thank you.
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So sorry about your brother, Diana. The Sorcerer’s Garden is a beautiful book I will reread many times, I know.
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Thanks you, Inese for the condolences and the sweet comment about the book. Now you know a bit about where it came from. Reality and fantasy collide in the book and in life 🙂 Have a wonderful weekend filled with love 🙂 ❤
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Yes, now I can put two and two…One of the reasons why the book is so powerful could be because of the reality of pain behind it. Have a wonderful weekend ahead! ❤
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Diana, in the short time I have ‘known’ you, I have sensed that there was something, a touch of sadness that entered some of your comments and posts…along with a great deal of empathy for others. This makes sense of that feeling for me, now. I am so sorry for your loss…and for the manner of it.
We lost my husband’s much younger sister because of medical malfeasance, a needlessly spread cancer, and an irony in that my mother-in-law died early at about the same age. I learned and used to tell people in my practice that each grief resonants with every other grief that went before…and when a new loss occurs, we may find ourselves re-grieving some elements even if we thought we had finished that part of our grief work. And some losses leave more tender scars.
I think your rewriting this ending was touching, and powerful, and brave. It was an honoring of your brother and hopefully healing for you.
I am a person of faith…but perhaps a bit untraditional in it. I am not sure of many things, but one thing I am convinced of…love is one of those threads in the universe, and it is endless. It is probably the only thing that truly matters in the long run, the legacy we receive and occasional get to share. The gift of being able to write, or rewrite, your brother’s story is a gift of love for him and for your readers and connects you in invisible but powerful ways to both.
As I almost always end up saying to you, lovely Diana, lovely as always.
Jo
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Thank you, Jo, for the beautiful comment. I used to do grief counseling as well and though it prepared me for what was “normal” and what to expect, it didn’t soften the experience much. I too believe that love is a tangible force and that what we create adds to the fabric of the universe, as real as anything we can touch. So both stories exist now. It wasn’t really my intention to rewrite the end of Dan’s story, but writing is a funny thing that we aren’t always in control of. An adventure indeed. Thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts. Hugs to you <3. Keep spreading the love around!
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I’ve written a short story aimed at a particular market. It’s not quite about rewriting an ending, but (the protagonist) dealing with personal issues, finding justice for a friend and visiting the characters of other people’s stories. Sounded good in my head and the first paragraph sings (or so I think/thought). I’ve finished it, and it’s turned out dead boring. I’ll have to leave it a bit. (Notice how I have abused the word ‘it’? 🙂
I like the universe your characters live in. (Although I suspect it’s the most gentle part of the story). Nice that Cody gets a re-do. Wish it was possible for the rest of us.
Does your D, initial stand for Dustin? I ask because I have only heard of two Dustins: Dustin Hoffman and an Aussie rules footballer called Dustin Fletcher.
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Hi Mary, Thank for the comment. Yes this is a rather peaceful part of the book and the action of the book far crazier. Redo’s would be nice and writing is perhaps as close as we get – I don’t know. Good luck with your writing and your story. And the D is for Diana. I’ve always liked the name Dustin, though 🙂 Happy Writing.
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So very sad xxxx
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We all have our stories, Lynn, don’t we? It’s wonderful that there are people everywhere who care and make the telling easier. Thank so much for reading and commenting, my friend. ❤
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Most welcome! xoxo
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As many here have said, this is beautiful, yet bittersweet, Diana. Like you, I lost a brother to violence years ago. There was no closure as his murderer(s) were never found. I’ve messed with the idea of writing another ending for my brother many times, but until now have backed off for fear of what would surface in me… Your words cause me to revisit the notion and perhaps show me it’s never too late to create a tribute, a story, another way of experiencing a loved one’s passage from this realm. Thank you for sharing this, Diana. I know I’m ready to write his story. _ K’lee
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I’m so sorry about your brother’s loss, K’Lee, and the toll that’s taken on you and your family. It’s not only the death, but the ongoing absence that continues as a reminder. It totally sucks!
I am not a religious person, but I do believe that anything is possible, and that what we put out into the invisible world (thoughts, stories, love, kindness, creative energy) actually exists as a real entity or thread in the universe. So, I think rewriting these stories creates something new, maybe not a replacement, but a parallel narrative that has its own weight and reality on an energetic plane. Those stories change or augment our experience – I know mine did. Sorry to get all “out there” on you. In closing, I hope you do write his story in whatever way is meaningful to you and that the effort brings a measure of peace. ❤
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Thank you, Diana. You are precisely right in what you’ve said.
Like you, I’m also not a religious person and what you propose concerning creative energies being reformed as new threads in the universe make perfect sense to me. There is a rightness in this thinking. I will write his story and allow what shows up on the page to be its own entity. I’ve no doubt there’s healing to be had in the process. Wow. An opera singer just walked past my window… singing something beautiful… a brand new experience for sure! You didn’t send her, did you?
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I think you did – the universe at work 🙂
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Absolutely no doubts here!
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The loss of a loved one is always painful. To loose him in this way leaves always that lingering regret.
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Thanks so much for the kind comment. I used to work as a grief counselor and regret is a pretty normal response to death. There’s always a wish for a chance to make up for missed opportunities. To be honest, at the time, I was royally pissed off (among a dozen other emotions). 🙂 The lingering feeling is bittersweet, sad yes, but happy for having been his sister for 40 years. ❤
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👼
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How sad.
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Oh yes. I agree. Hopefully most of us will live free of violence, but not one of us will escape the sadness of death. Best to stuff our days with love while we have the chance. Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment ❤ ❤
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I get it and I have tears in my eyes: my brother died a horrible death aged 22 (not by gun but a horrible accident) and his anniversary comes up next month too. I have wished so many times that I could change the ending of his story. It still gives me nightmares. I am so had to go through it and are revisiting it after Orlando. I send you a virtual hug across the pond. 💕
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Hugs back to you and tears for your brother. Now wonder you are sensitive to the tragedy and call for compassion. My thoughts are with you ❤
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Thank you 💐
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My condolences, Diana–some pain never goes away. We just learn to live with it. And while writing for therapeutic reasons doesn’t always yield a product we want to share, sometimes adding a deeply personal thread to a novel can deepen our emotional involvement.
Well done on adding an homage to your brother in Sorcerer’s Garden. I think it’s one of the best ways of keeping their memory alive–sharing the underlying feelings that made them special.
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Thanks, Cathleen. I think you nailed it that the author’s emotional investment in the characters deepens a reader’s involvement in a book, whether they know the backstory or not. It was fun sharing this aspect with the blogging community. Thanks for the sweet comment. Have a lovely and loving day. ❤
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Bittersweet, my friend. Condolences on your brother’s passing so many years ago. So much tragedy these days. I like the excerpt, and how Cody is heading off to his next adventure. So much more meaningful in the context of giving the memory of your brother a different ending. Thank you for sharing!
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Thanks, Julie. That’s not quite the end of the book (I can’t give everything away!) but it closes a thread. It was a pleasure to share the deeper meaning with my blog/writer friends – an vivid example, perhaps, of how we bring our own experiences into our work to varying degrees. Too much tragedy these days and so much of it is needless. Have a wonderful day and be sure to pass around a little love 🙂 ❤
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What a touching post. How wonderful, Diana, that you are able to honor your brother’s life and resolve his death through writing a novel. Reading The Sorcerer’s Garden was an adventure for me. I’m sure your brother is smiling from where he is, maybe even applauding or taking a bow.
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So lovely to hear from you, Rosanna. I hope you are well and writing and enjoying life. I forgot that you read that crazy book 🙂 Yes, I like to think that Dan is enjoying my forays into this art. He’d get a kick out of it. Sending you many hugs, my friend ❤
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I’m definitely picking up the book ASAP!
Orlando… Such a tragic incident… Saddening, ridiculous, disgusting! Most of all, shameful! My heart reaches out to all those who lost their lives for no fault of theirs and for all those who will have to live merely with the memories of the loved ones they have lost!
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I know, Aishwarya. It’s devastating for the families on so many levels. The random cruelty and senselessness are hard to integrate as one tries to make meaning and integrate the loss. The world loses the promise and potential of every person killed and the families will be forever changed. Thanks so much for your comment, and if you pick up the book, I hope you enjoy it. It’s a fun ride overall. 🙂 ❤
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I’m so sorry to hear about your brother D. I’m sure this book has been a great comfort to you and a way to express yourself through this terrible tragedy. Much love my friend…. ❤️
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Thanks, Michelle, for the sweet comment. It wasn’t until after writing the book that the connections occurred to me. My inspiration for the story was to explore the “reality” of our imaginations – that the stories we tell are just as real as the stories we live. Funny how the personal parallels snuck in there. I suppose that happens all the time with this creative stuff 🙂 Hugs to you. Spread a little love around today ❤
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You’re welcome D… And I will 🙂
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Wow, I am so sorry about your horrific loss of your brother that way. It is true, many of us have these losses. I might have told you before but I lost my sister at the age of 27 due to a tragic drowning accident. Always embrace life when you can, right? The snippet from your story with that ending photo of your brother wrapped it all up, well done, Diana. I never am disappointed with your writing and your eloquent words as to why they are written. xoxo ❤
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Thanks, Kathryn. So sorry about your sister. What a terrible loss. I mentioned in another comment that our siblings are supposed to be the longest relationship of our lives. It’s like losing a piece of our childhoods – a keeper of those early memories. Thank you for the kind comment. Give the ones you love a few extra hugs. ❤
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xoxoxo ❤
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Beautiful and heartbreaking, Diana. This is a beautiful and poignant tribute. I’m so sorry for your loss, and yet your brother endures in your heart and in your writing. Love carries on.
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Thanks you, Steven. Everyone is so brave and sweet to comment. I think that love is a real force that changes the fabric of the world, so it’s never wasted. It’s also free and in unlimited supply 🙂 I didn’t write the book with the intent to rewrite Dan’s ending. It wasn’t until much later that I made the connections. Ah, this writing thing is so fascinating. We certainly do bring our whole beings into our work. 🙂 Have a wonderful week, Steven. Pass around a few hugs for me ❤
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It is amazing how the imagination processes our past and feelings… much like dreams interpret things in apparently random patterns. There may be layers there that we’re not even aware of until much later. In dark times, love really is a much needed comfort. And you’re right, it is free! Have a great week, D., and hugs all around. 🙂
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What a lovely tribute to your brother, Diana. As someone once put it — I can’t recall who — our fictions are the world as we would like it to be, if not how it actually is. In harrowing times like these, the comforts of our fictional worlds take on added eminence; our storytellers provide what our journalists, in their fidelity to the (often dispiriting) facts, cannot: perspective, meaning, and even and especially beauty.
My great mentor David Freeman once said: “Artists make our lives more livable. So let’s take very good care of them. And let’s nourish our own creative sides while we’re at it.” Your books and your blog are a testament to that philosophy.
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Thank you, Sean, for the wonderful comment. I can’t say I want the world to be like all my books – some of them are quite grim. But – sometimes it’s a pleasure to create good people who face hardships, prevail, and find happy (happier) endings. David sounds like a wonderful mentor. I do think artists, including writers, make life more livable. They have the capacity to reach beyond the mundane and tragic trials of the world. Hope your week is full of joyful hugs and smiles 🙂 ❤
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My WIP, Escape from Rikers Island, is also rather grim: It is set in a penal colony and populated by gangbangers and corrupt cops and even monsters. Still, it represents the world as I wish it could be insofar as the characters — two of them, at least — aspire to be better than the circumstances they’ve been handed and the compromised moral codes they are expected to live by, and are willing to pay the price for those lofty aspirations. The protagonists’ strength — their willingness to change their beliefs and behaviors despite tremendous external pressures to toe the line — make the story an idealist vision of the world (at least as I see it).
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I completely get it, Sean. Those characters and the courage and hope they represent are what make the grim books so compelling. I’m looking forward to your book. 🙂
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My continued condolences for your loss as well as those who’ve also had loved ones lost too early.
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Thanks, Allie, for the thoughtful comment. Give your loved ones lots of extra hugs this week – it will add to the goodness and love in the air 🙂 ❤
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Life changes on a dime and it takes great strength for those left behind to make sense of life and to love life again. I think writing this book helped you achieve that. Your writing voice is never bitter.
If you get a chance, please post on Wednesday at the Salon.
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Will do, Bernadette 😀 Tomorrow! Where did the week go? Thanks for the visit, my friend. Yeah, writing is pretty amazing and it can take us places as a writer and reader we wouldn’t go otherwise. Be well – lots of hugs to you – pass them around ❤
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Thanks for posting this very personal writing.
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You are welcome. This seems to be the week for it. Lots of hope and love out there too, which is a wonderful balance. Have a lovely evening, Bernadette. ❤
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I’m sending hugs Diana. I don’t have strength for words tonight.
❤
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Totally understood. I’m happy with the hugs, Dawn. Sleep well. ❤
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I’ll try. Thank you! 🙂
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So very sorry to read about the senseless loss of your brother.
Sending virtual hugs.
xx
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Thank you. There are a lot of us with those heart-rending losses, aren’t there? Much love and peace back to you for the loss of your beautiful son. ❤
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Thank you so much for your kind thoughts.
Take care.
x
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So sorry to hear about your loss of Dan, Diana. Your post places a beautiful ending to heartache that never really ends. Thinking of you and your family. Love and prayers…
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Thanks, Bette. It’s one of those things you wish you could undo, but life just doesn’t give us those chances, unless you’re a writer and can nudge reality a bit. Thanks for the sweet comment. Hugs to you ❤
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Hugs right back to you! ❤
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Senseless crimes are even harder to understand when they happen to loved ones or even people we barely know. I’m sorry for your loss and for the toll on your family.
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Thanks, Dan. I was at a dinner party a couple years ago and it was shocking how many people knew someone who had lost their life to gun violence. The senselessness and randomness is tough to stomach. I appreciate the kind comment. Pass around a few hugs this week to the people you love 🙂
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As I read this, I could not help but think of all our journeys whether on Earth or beyond. We are here for a good time, not a long time (although according to my son when he was six, I was here for a long time, not a good time).
Thank you for sharing. And I truly believe we all feel this eventually in life and in death: “The road beckoned, his next adventure begun.”
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Thank you for the heartfelt comment, Diane. Your son made me smile – from the mouths of babes, right? My 3-yr-old grandson told me he was having a “hot flash.” Ha ha. Yes, if we live long enough we will all deal with loss – the cost of life and love. What lies beyond (or parallel or outside) I can’t guess, thus the adventure 🙂 ❤
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My heart goes out to you and your family, Diana. You’ve honored your brother well with this snippet. Hugs.
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Thanks for reading, Mary. We take what we know and write it, right? That says something about you romance authors. 😀 My tragedy, sadly, is not unique. Take the time this week to collect a few hugs and share the love ❤
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I’m so sorry to hear about what happened to your Brother, Diana. The recent events in Orlando make this world of ours a very dark place. My thoughts are with you and your family as the anniversary of his death comes nearer.
xx
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Thank you for the kind comment, Hugh. I refuse to see the world as dark or hopeless, but human beings sure do seem broken at times. Just have to keep pushing the love, kindness and compassion whenever we can. 🙂 Hope you find some folks to hug today ❤
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I have free hugs for everyone, Diana. They were certainly on demand at the recent Bloggers Bash. 🤗
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Oh, I can imagine! Someday I will make the trip, Hugh. It sounds like a joyous adventure 🙂
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Oh Diana, what a sad but also uplifting post. I’m sure your brother knew you loved him and would be so honored by your words. There’s always a gap in your life when you lose someone so close – it’s never really filled and just eventually scars over. Funny how the mind can mark time – I am always sad the weekend after Thanksgiving, because that’s when my Dad died. Peace and blessings!
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That gap describes it perfectly, Noelle. Lots of “if he was still alive, he’d be… or we’d be…” There’s just a hole. Thanks for the kind comment and I’m so glad you found it uplifting! It wasn’t meant to be a complete downer. Just another strange aspect of writing. Peace and blessings to you too. Lots of virtual hugs 🙂
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A terrible loss. He lives on in your beautiful words.
Keep on writing, in this he is honoured.
Roger
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Thanks, Roger. I think he’d be tickled to know that he sort of showed up in the book. I don’t think my other brother has made the connection – to him it’s just another crazy story from his sister. 🙂 Be well, my friend.
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You too.
Take care
And best wishes to you and yours.
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I can’t even begin to imagine how hard this must have been. So many senseless crimes cause so much pain.
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Sort of like having your heart ripped out of your chest. It was even harder on his son. All we can do is keep loving, not only for ourselves but for each other. Thanks so much for the sweet comment. Pass around some hugs today 🙂 ❤
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Very beautiful and touching post about your brother. Sending hugs and hearts your way. ❤ ❤ ❤
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Thank you, Tamara. I’m surrounded by people I love, and I’m following my dreams. It’s a good tonic for the losses we all endure. Fill your day with hugs, my friend 🙂
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Thank you for sharing, Diana. So sorry for your loss. And I understand fully why you wrote that – one day I shall write a better ending for my own brother.
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Lovely, Mick, and I’m sorry to hear that you too have lost a brother. Writing a new ending is a process and the energy around it feels good – it’s real. I hope you do someday. ❤
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Thank you. I’m sure I will.
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I think that it’s inevitable that people in a writer’s life make it into their books as one phantom or another. Sometimes not even as a specific character, but as an ideal or emotion. We are, after all, drawing on who we are as writers and our experiences. I realized some time ago that when I wrote of love, I am painting those words with the love I have experienced in my life. I smile knowing that those phantoms endure in my work.
And writing better endings? Absolutely. I write them for those that didn’t get them. For those that deserved them. For those of us that need them still.
Blessings to you and the memory of your brother. It’s beautiful that you gave him a better ending.
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Thanks for the wonderful comment, Jason. I usually don’t write people I know into my books, and even in this case, it’s not so much my brothers and me as the experiences I’ve drawn from. I think you are so right that the emotional content of our characters comes from inside the author and a willingness to go to some uncomfortable places. I think readers can sense the genuineness of a character’s (author’s) emotional content. Knowing that you do that makes me want to read your books…where do you recommend I start?
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You’re very welcome, Diana.
As far as books go, I’m still working on my first one which will be a compilation of fantasy novelettes, novellas and short stories I’ve written. However, a number of the stories that will be going into the book are available to read right now on my story blog, aetherealengines.com. Here’s a link to a simple page where all of my completed stories are indexed and just a click away: https://aetherealengines.com/asl/
“The Old Man of the Elder Trees”, “A Contract in Azure and Indigo” and “The Brynesmark” are my most recent released works and also some of my favorites. 🙂 All three will also be in the collection, along with others, two of which that will be stories exclusive to the book alone.
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I follow aethereal engines too and I know you’re prolific! Well, I’m sure there will be some fanfare when your book comes out and I shall line up to read it. 😀
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I am so sorry that you have had to endure such a tragic loss. as always your writing is impeccable and charged with deep meaning. Thank you for sharing it! ❤
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I think it was the Orlando shootings that got to me, Holly. The US obession with guns is utterly tragic for so many people. Not only those killed, but all those who have their loved ones snatched away. It’s mind boggling. Thanks for the kind words and for reading, of course. 🙂 Hugs today and everyday.
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I am so sorry for your painful loss. Writing is the perfect refuge where we can pen our own finales. Shame life couldn’t be a little more like fiction. Be well my friend.
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Thanks for the sweet comment. You are so right that writing is a wonderful refuge, and for me, it actually does change reality, energetically at least 🙂 What we create exists. Hugs to you. Have a love-filled creative day. ❤
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Thanks.
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What an enjoyable read – thank-you for sharing a snippet (I love that word!).
It is mind-boggling to think someone you know can be there one day and then gone the next. We just lost one of our coworkers at work, she went missing and then they found her body, and I find myself so puzzled by all of it, it is all of I can think about. So many questions. And to lose a brother, and then have those questions go unanswered for so many years, it must always just be sitting in the back of your mind, always right there on the periphery.
Life is so perplexing. At least in our writing we have some control, we can put our characters into better places, well, most of the time.
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Thanks for reading, S.D. It’s become a cliche to say, “live each day as if it’s your last,” but you never know, so in the long run, it’s wise advice. Horrible about your co-worker and I can understand why it fills your thoughts. Give those kids of yours big hugs the next time they cross your path!
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❤
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I don’t think there is a finer tribute than to honor a loved one through writing. Your prose is remarkable, as usual, but especially poignant in this case. My heart goes out to you.
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Thanks, Mike. Much appreciated. I have no idea what my brother would think of this though he was kind of a sentimental guy. Give Alex and Ellen big gigantic hugs today and keep up the Allegra comedy 😀 Life should be about love and laughter!
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Will do.
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Diana, I am so sorry for your loss. This was so eloquent and touching. I lost my sister very suddenly at a young age and you are right, those feelings are unreal: shock, disbelief, heartbreak. Like you, I have rewritten endings for her story. Hugs to you.
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I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your sister, Lana. If you think about it, our siblings are supposed to be the longest relationships of our lives. I’m touched to hear that you’ve rewritten the end of her story, too. Hugs to you. ❤
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That is true, Diana, our siblings are supposed to be our longest relationships. We are blessed to have had them in our lives. Peace and good wishes. I hope you have a good day 🙂
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This brought tears to my eyes, Diana. So poignant and eloquent, a reaching out to rewrite the past and the sadness. I’m sure the words will reach the loved one, beyond the limits of time and space. 🙂
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Thank you, Sebnem, for the lovely comment. I’m one of those people who believes anything is possible, that our thoughts are real things with power we don’t yet understand. So, who knows… Hugs to you and have a week full of love. 🙂
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Oh, Diana, what an awful tragedy for your poor brother, and your family too. It must be even worse that the crime was never solved.Sending you hugs xx
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Thanks for the hugs, Judy. The lack of closure on the case pretty much sucks, but I trust karma to take care of it. Have a wonderful week and give humongous hugs to all your loved ones 🙂
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I will Diana, thank you. Yes karma will catch up with them in the end.
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July 4th. Now, I understand. Tears and hugs, Diana. 💔
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We celebrate his life on July 4 with fireworks. If he’s hanging around, he would enjoy it. Thanks for the hugs, Van. ❤
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I don’t know what to say, Diana. I’m so sorry for your loss.
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I know. These kind of posts are hard to comment on. Just give someone special a hug today 😀 ❤
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I will 🙂
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I’m so sorry to hear what you and your family have had to endure. I’m sure every new shooting (and there are plenty of them) opens that wound all over again. If only we could write or rewrite our own stories… ❤
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I’m not a big fan of guns, Meg. No big surprise. I think these shootings in Orlando are even worse for their utter randomness. It’s all awful, for everyone. We can’t rewrite our stories, but we can write them starting now – that’s the good news. Thanks for the visit and the kind words 🙂
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❤️
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I can’t imagine the strange limbo that awaits a family after losing a loved one like this. They say that time heals all wounds, but I’m not so sure.
I read The Sorcerer’s Garden and was rather perplexed at the ending. I felt there was something I was missing. With your explanation here, it now makes so much sense ❤
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Time does heal wounds, but there is always the scar, and nothing goes back to the way it was. I can talk about it now without becoming a mess – though there are times… Thanks for the feedback on The Sorcerer’s Garden. That’s great to know. Once I’m over my current mountain of editing, I’ll have to revisit it 🙂 Hope your day is filled with love, my friend ❤
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… and your’s too ❤
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