Writespiration – Drawn Towards the Sun

in-the-titleLast week I participated in Sacha Black’s Writespiration – It’s All in the Title.  She gave us a list of titles that she’d gathered from our WIPs the week before. We were instructed to pick one and write a story in less than 200 words. I chose the title Drawn towards the Sun. Here’s my story:

pixabay

pixabay

Drawn Towards The Sun

I was afraid to open the door, afraid the light would burn my eyes after so many months in the burrow, attuned to its shadowy corners. The others crowded behind me, their eagerness pressing on my back. “Close your eyes,” I warned them and thumbed the latch.

My vision reduced to slits, I cracked the door. The sunlight burned, a white-hot flame searing my retinas. We gasped in unison and paused, breath locked in our chests. I eased the door open, slowly, wider, the heat tumbling down from above with a miasma of foreign smells.

The world had changed. Despite our intelligence and will, despite the technology wielded at our fingertips, mankind hadn’t been able to halt its advance. It rolled over us, unstoppable, transforming the landscape into something ancient and new. I’d expected it, but I was startled, nonetheless.

I shielded my half-lidded eyes. “I’ll go first.” I took a tentative step and climbed the stairs, my hand tracking the wall for support. The heat baked through my clothes. Creatures stirred in the crooked branches and thorny brambles, and I inhaled the fecund scent of the land. The sun flared and I smiled. Spring had arrived.

97 thoughts on “Writespiration – Drawn Towards the Sun

  1. Bernadette says:

    Thanks for taking the time to post this, I really enjoyed reading it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ali Isaac says:

    Lovely writing! Haha… that’s how it feels here on the rare occasion the sun shines. It’s like being in a foreign land, and the brightness is overwhelming and hurts our eyes. We’re only used to dull and grey. And wet. 😂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. […] Diana has used the title: drawn toward the sun and written a beautiful flash just for this. […]

    Liked by 1 person

  4. joanneeddy says:

    Lovely, as always, Diana. Wonderful inside out metaphor…taking me to the other side of the burrow! (Do the English have Groundhog’s Day?) Jo

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks, Joanne. I like that feeling in the spring when I’m thirsty for the sun, but the brightness almost hurts. I’m in Oregon where it rains all winter – we’re all vitamin D deficient. Thanks for the visit 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • joanneeddy says:

        I sent 28 years in Syracuse before moving here to Inner Banks region of North Carolina. Syracuse in the second cloudiest metropolitan area right behind Seattle….plus 120 inches of snow in an average year…I truly understand that thirst for sunlight! Enjoyed your post as always. Jo

        Liked by 2 people

  5. Cool! Great post! Light and Love, Shona

    Liked by 2 people

  6. stephie5741 says:

    Well done. And that’s the perfect picture!

    Stephanie
    http://stephie5741.blogspot.com

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Annika Perry says:

    Beautiful piece of writing, Diana and how timely! I felt this was only the start though as I was enjoying it so much…experiencing the awakening of Spring anew.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Wonderful story, and great exercise. I like writing to the title. In my classes, I teach students to write their title last, so that it fits the story. This works in reverse.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Nitin says:

    Beautifully composed. Such detailed description -I felt the push at my back in the beginning, and the sun in my eyes latter. Rich and textured. Loved it Diana 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Sacha Black says:

    thanks for the mention – I loved this entry so much – have just put it into the next post 😀

    Liked by 3 people

  11. This is a very nice piece! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  12. dgkaye says:

    Wonderful piece Diana. Perhaps the beginnings of a new book? 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Great piece, Diana! I could feel the hesitation, yet the curiosity drawing the character into the light. Thanks for sharing this! And Spring, oh I wish it would just come and stay. Last week cold, rain/snow, and no temps even close to 45. Today is gorgeous, and warm–50s. Tomorrow, back to effing winter. It’s getting old, Mother Nature. Just fling the door open already 🙂 !

    Liked by 1 person

    • We’ve entered spring here. It was a grand 85 last Thursday. Back to the 60’s and then next week cracking 70. Oh, I love it after months and months of rain. Gardening tomorrow! Glad you enjoyed the piece. Hope spring makes you squint soon 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  14. ghostmmnc says:

    Now I want to know what happens next! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  15. reocochran says:

    This was a fascinating way to go with this picture presentation and the title, Diana. You could have had something horrible to emerge together to view. So happy and pleasantly surprised about Spring being your first sight. It was in first person which was a nice breath of fresh air. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Great description of those coming up from below to the new earth. It sounds like they’ve been below for years, perhaps after a great battle or plague. Well done, Diana. It would make a great hook for a longer story. 🙂 —- Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Lovely piece, Diana. So descriptive ! I want to read more. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  18. Exactly how I felt on the first day I was released from my cyro prison. Spring is the answer to so many things.

    Liked by 2 people

  19. Ocean Bream says:

    Writespiration, what a great way to get writing! I really like this piece, lots of fabulous imagery mingled with sound and smell, creating some great tension. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  20. I really like this, it kept me enthralled the whole time, painted such a picture for me!

    Liked by 2 people

  21. Nicely done. Lots of great imagery. Wonder how the MC got the task of being the first to emerge?

    Liked by 2 people

  22. I know it wasn’t our spring as you weren’t holding an umbrella. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Heh heh, good one.

    Doesn’t miasma mean a thoroughly unpleasant smell? Is that what spring smells like in your neck of the woods? 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  24. joannesisco says:

    David Prosser said it the best – high drama with a clever ending. I didn’t see it coming and it made me smile 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  25. Smashing piece of fiction, Diana. I was totally on the wrong road. I’m hoping to have a go at this challenge soon.

    Liked by 2 people

  26. noelleg44 says:

    Diana, you can WRITE! I loved this!

    Liked by 2 people

  27. Carrie Rubin says:

    Wonderful. I loved this sentence: “I inhaled the fecund scent of the land.” Great word choice with “fecund.” It’s so descriptive.

    Liked by 2 people

  28. Judy Martin says:

    I was right there with you Diana, enjoying the warmth and earthiness of spring! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  29. Arthur Macabe says:

    Very cool piece. Looking forward to more!

    Liked by 2 people

  30. balroop2013 says:

    The picture is a perfect choice…it could inspire many more pieces as brilliant as this one. My thoughts kept going back to the symbol you have used to encompass all around us…the sounds, the scents, the spring…the searing sun…so much within a short story!! All trepidation melted at the profound message. Despite the heat and the glare, I could feel the soothing touch of your words.
    Thank you Diana.

    Liked by 2 people

  31. I love this! I hope you’ll write more of these in the future. 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  32. Nurse Kelly says:

    You surprised me! I loved the inclusion of the sense of smell – made it feel so real. My mind was trying to capture fresh spring scents as I read!
    We have a snowstorm predicted over the next day or two… I hope spring will open its door for me as well – soon! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  33. davidprosser says:

    High Drama with a clever ending.
    xxx Gigantic Hugs Diana xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Al Lane says:

    Great piece, Diana, oozing depth and immersing the reader in this world ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  35. Bernadette says:

    I felt the warmth in my bones and the glare in my eyes. You did a masterful job.

    Liked by 2 people

  36. Amazing!! The picture just sits perfect!
    Very well executed!

    Liked by 2 people

Comments are warmly welcomed. Don't be shy .

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s