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Writespiration – Drawn Towards the Sun

in-the-titleLast week I participated in Sacha Black’s Writespiration – It’s All in the Title.  She gave us a list of titles that she’d gathered from our WIPs the week before. We were instructed to pick one and write a story in less than 200 words. I chose the title Drawn towards the Sun. Here’s my story:

pixabay

pixabay

Drawn Towards The Sun

I was afraid to open the door, afraid the light would burn my eyes after so many months in the burrow, attuned to its shadowy corners. The others crowded behind me, their eagerness pressing on my back. “Close your eyes,” I warned them and thumbed the latch.

My vision reduced to slits, I cracked the door. The sunlight burned, a white-hot flame searing my retinas. We gasped in unison and paused, breath locked in our chests. I eased the door open, slowly, wider, the heat tumbling down from above with a miasma of foreign smells.

The world had changed. Despite our intelligence and will, despite the technology wielded at our fingertips, mankind hadn’t been able to halt its advance. It rolled over us, unstoppable, transforming the landscape into something ancient and new. I’d expected it, but I was startled, nonetheless.

I shielded my half-lidded eyes. “I’ll go first.” I took a tentative step and climbed the stairs, my hand tracking the wall for support. The heat baked through my clothes. Creatures stirred in the crooked branches and thorny brambles, and I inhaled the fecund scent of the land. The sun flared and I smiled. Spring had arrived.

97 thoughts on “Writespiration – Drawn Towards the Sun”

  1. Bernadette says:
    April 23, 2016 at 1:42 pm

    Thanks for taking the time to post this, I really enjoyed reading it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ali Isaac says:
    April 22, 2016 at 11:26 pm

    Lovely writing! Haha… that’s how it feels here on the rare occasion the sun shines. It’s like being in a foreign land, and the brightness is overwhelming and hurts our eyes. We’re only used to dull and grey. And wet. 😂

    Liked by 2 people

    • D. Wallace Peach says:
      April 23, 2016 at 6:27 am

      Same thing here, Ali. Those first sunny days are incredible. I don’t realize how starved I am for sunshine until I step outside. I hope the sun in shining on you and yours 🙂 Have a great weekend.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ali Isaac says:
        April 24, 2016 at 3:54 pm

        Thank you. Hope yours was good too. Quite a bit of sunshine… in between the spells of rain! But it’s nearly May and it’s not even beginning to warm up yet.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Flash in a Flash – Writespiration #87 | Sacha Black says:
    April 20, 2016 at 12:00 am

    […] Diana has used the title: drawn toward the sun and written a beautiful flash just for this. […]

    Liked by 1 person

  4. penneyvanderbilt says:
    April 16, 2016 at 10:55 am

    Reblogged this on PenneyVanderbilt.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. joanneeddy says:
    April 13, 2016 at 11:37 am

    Lovely, as always, Diana. Wonderful inside out metaphor…taking me to the other side of the burrow! (Do the English have Groundhog’s Day?) Jo

    Liked by 2 people

    • D. Wallace Peach says:
      April 13, 2016 at 1:55 pm

      Thanks, Joanne. I like that feeling in the spring when I’m thirsty for the sun, but the brightness almost hurts. I’m in Oregon where it rains all winter – we’re all vitamin D deficient. Thanks for the visit 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • joanneeddy says:
        April 13, 2016 at 4:17 pm

        I sent 28 years in Syracuse before moving here to Inner Banks region of North Carolina. Syracuse in the second cloudiest metropolitan area right behind Seattle….plus 120 inches of snow in an average year…I truly understand that thirst for sunlight! Enjoyed your post as always. Jo

        Liked by 2 people

  6. phdinmeblog.wordpress.com says:
    April 11, 2016 at 5:02 pm

    Cool! Great post! Light and Love, Shona

    Liked by 2 people

  7. stephie5741 says:
    April 11, 2016 at 2:19 pm

    Well done. And that’s the perfect picture!

    Stephanie
    http://stephie5741.blogspot.com

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Annika Perry says:
    April 11, 2016 at 9:27 am

    Beautiful piece of writing, Diana and how timely! I felt this was only the start though as I was enjoying it so much…experiencing the awakening of Spring anew.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Jacqui Murray says:
    April 11, 2016 at 7:49 am

    Wonderful story, and great exercise. I like writing to the title. In my classes, I teach students to write their title last, so that it fits the story. This works in reverse.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Nitin says:
    April 11, 2016 at 7:40 am

    Beautifully composed. Such detailed description -I felt the push at my back in the beginning, and the sun in my eyes latter. Rich and textured. Loved it Diana 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Sacha Black says:
    April 11, 2016 at 6:51 am

    thanks for the mention – I loved this entry so much – have just put it into the next post 😀

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Rebekahsansan says:
    April 10, 2016 at 8:16 pm

    This is a very nice piece! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  13. dgkaye says:
    April 10, 2016 at 6:54 pm

    Wonderful piece Diana. Perhaps the beginnings of a new book? 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Julie Holmes, author says:
    April 10, 2016 at 5:12 pm

    Great piece, Diana! I could feel the hesitation, yet the curiosity drawing the character into the light. Thanks for sharing this! And Spring, oh I wish it would just come and stay. Last week cold, rain/snow, and no temps even close to 45. Today is gorgeous, and warm–50s. Tomorrow, back to effing winter. It’s getting old, Mother Nature. Just fling the door open already 🙂 !

    Liked by 1 person

    • D. Wallace Peach says:
      April 10, 2016 at 8:02 pm

      We’ve entered spring here. It was a grand 85 last Thursday. Back to the 60’s and then next week cracking 70. Oh, I love it after months and months of rain. Gardening tomorrow! Glad you enjoyed the piece. Hope spring makes you squint soon 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  15. ghostmmnc says:
    April 10, 2016 at 4:33 am

    Now I want to know what happens next! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  16. reocochran says:
    April 9, 2016 at 12:54 pm

    This was a fascinating way to go with this picture presentation and the title, Diana. You could have had something horrible to emerge together to view. So happy and pleasantly surprised about Spring being your first sight. It was in first person which was a nice breath of fresh air. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  17. patriciaruthsusan says:
    April 9, 2016 at 5:55 am

    Great description of those coming up from below to the new earth. It sounds like they’ve been below for years, perhaps after a great battle or plague. Well done, Diana. It would make a great hook for a longer story. 🙂 —- Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

  18. lynne hoareau says:
    April 9, 2016 at 5:34 am

    Lovely piece, Diana. So descriptive ! I want to read more. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  19. joyindestructible says:
    April 8, 2016 at 8:30 pm

    Exactly how I felt on the first day I was released from my cyro prison. Spring is the answer to so many things.

    Liked by 2 people

    • D. Wallace Peach says:
      April 9, 2016 at 7:27 am

      That physical reaction to sunshine is pretty intense out here. Almost like a thirst. Glad you enjoyed it, Pam. I hope the sun is shining for you today 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • joyindestructible says:
        April 9, 2016 at 8:36 am

        Yes, it is and as an Iguana Woman, I need to sun just to move. I’d love to visit those rain forests but I know I could never live in that part of the world. There’s something about long cloudy days that cause my brain to float belly up. We had a rare April shower yesterday though and as I write, I’m watching water drip from the roof against a backdrop of bosque’ that turned green over-night. Hmmmm, the magic of a Bosque’Moon!;-}

        Liked by 1 person

  20. Ocean Bream says:
    April 8, 2016 at 3:31 pm

    Writespiration, what a great way to get writing! I really like this piece, lots of fabulous imagery mingled with sound and smell, creating some great tension. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  21. Lynz Real Cooking says:
    April 8, 2016 at 2:50 pm

    I really like this, it kept me enthralled the whole time, painted such a picture for me!

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Russell J. Fellows says:
    April 8, 2016 at 1:51 pm

    Nicely done. Lots of great imagery. Wonder how the MC got the task of being the first to emerge?

    Liked by 2 people

  23. Richard Ankers says:
    April 8, 2016 at 11:51 am

    I know it wasn’t our spring as you weren’t holding an umbrella. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Nicholas C. Rossis says:
    April 8, 2016 at 11:34 am

    Heh heh, good one.

    Doesn’t miasma mean a thoroughly unpleasant smell? Is that what spring smells like in your neck of the woods? 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  25. joannesisco says:
    April 8, 2016 at 10:39 am

    David Prosser said it the best – high drama with a clever ending. I didn’t see it coming and it made me smile 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  26. Hugh's Views and News says:
    April 8, 2016 at 9:22 am

    Smashing piece of fiction, Diana. I was totally on the wrong road. I’m hoping to have a go at this challenge soon.

    Liked by 2 people

  27. noelleg44 says:
    April 8, 2016 at 9:21 am

    Diana, you can WRITE! I loved this!

    Liked by 2 people

  28. Carrie Rubin says:
    April 8, 2016 at 9:20 am

    Wonderful. I loved this sentence: “I inhaled the fecund scent of the land.” Great word choice with “fecund.” It’s so descriptive.

    Liked by 2 people

  29. Judy Martin says:
    April 8, 2016 at 8:03 am

    I was right there with you Diana, enjoying the warmth and earthiness of spring! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  30. Arthur Macabe says:
    April 8, 2016 at 7:32 am

    Very cool piece. Looking forward to more!

    Liked by 2 people

  31. balroop2013 says:
    April 8, 2016 at 7:27 am

    The picture is a perfect choice…it could inspire many more pieces as brilliant as this one. My thoughts kept going back to the symbol you have used to encompass all around us…the sounds, the scents, the spring…the searing sun…so much within a short story!! All trepidation melted at the profound message. Despite the heat and the glare, I could feel the soothing touch of your words.
    Thank you Diana.

    Liked by 2 people

  32. ~Michelle Cook says:
    April 8, 2016 at 7:25 am

    I love this! I hope you’ll write more of these in the future. 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  33. Nurse Kelly says:
    April 8, 2016 at 6:30 am

    You surprised me! I loved the inclusion of the sense of smell – made it feel so real. My mind was trying to capture fresh spring scents as I read!
    We have a snowstorm predicted over the next day or two… I hope spring will open its door for me as well – soon! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  34. davidprosser says:
    April 8, 2016 at 5:40 am

    High Drama with a clever ending.
    xxx Gigantic Hugs Diana xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  35. Al Lane says:
    April 8, 2016 at 5:35 am

    Great piece, Diana, oozing depth and immersing the reader in this world ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  36. Bernadette says:
    April 8, 2016 at 5:29 am

    I felt the warmth in my bones and the glare in my eyes. You did a masterful job.

    Liked by 2 people

    • D. Wallace Peach says:
      April 8, 2016 at 5:46 am

      Thanks Bernadette. I always feel a little sun-shocked on that first day of warmth and sunshine here after all the rain. Sunglasses weather! Thank for the visit. Happy weekend 🙂

      Like

  37. ruchirabiswas says:
    April 8, 2016 at 5:19 am

    Amazing!! The picture just sits perfect!
    Very well executed!

    Liked by 2 people

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